(CAR DOOR THUDS)
(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
WOMAN: Buddy, I said I was sorry.
I'm sorry, Renn!
God, are you just gonna punish me forever?
You are?
Oh, my God. That is so sad.
You left me.
I know. I know. I thought you were right next to me.
- I wasn't. - I know.
- I was in the store. - I know.
And some old lady kept asking if I was lost,
and I kept saying no, but she kept asking,
and her breath smelled like batteries.
(CHUCKLES)
Double-A?
Hey, Renn.
I am so sorry.
That will never, ever happen again.
- Promise? - Pinkie.
I will never leave you in a store again.
- You'll never leave me? - I'll never leave you.
- Hundred percent? - Hundred percent.
Okay.
I'll never leave you. I promise.
(PHONE RINGS)
(SIRENS WAIL, HORNS HONK)
(RINGING CONTINUES)
(SIGHS)
WOMAN: Renn. She's gone.
(WOMAN SOBS)
Davis here. Yep. Mmm. (PUTS PHONE DOWN)
Okay, Cleveland. All right, enjoy your flight.
- Thank you. - All right, next up.
LEIGH: Hey. It's me again. Um...
I'm just trying to get in touch with you before you board.
There's a lot going on here right now,
so I could really use your help.
(BLEEP)
Hey, uh, Renn, it's Kevin.
Here's what I think.
I'm trying to promote you to supervisor. It's a big honor.
Just take a few days. Think it over. I'll call you, okay?
- (BLEEP) - MAN: Hey, buddy. It's Dad.
I'm tracking your flight in case you change your mind
about wanting me to pick you up.
- Glad you're coming home. - (BLEEP)
(MUFFLED) Anything out there?
- Sorry? - Anything out there?
- No. - That's a bummer.
I was hoping for aliens or robots or robot aliens.
- You know what I mean? - (SNORING)
Yeah, and here I was relieved with nothing.
You're wanting this flight to be all quiet,
and, well, me, someone who's afraid of flights,
really wants it to all just turn into a Michael Bay film.
- What Michael Bay film? - Con Air, specifically.
- Oh, wow. - (SNORING CONTINUES)
Yeah, I don't... I don't think he directed that one, actually.
Hmm?
Okay. Well, yeah. It's still a great movie, so...
Con Air is a great movie?
Every action movie from the '90s is a great film.
- Okay, so you're afraid of flying. - Yes.
You think every action movie from the '90s is a great film?
- Of course. - Yeah, I think this is going very well.
And yet I know nothing about you.
- Ask away. - Oh, you are gonna regret saying that.
I ask so many questions. Okay. What kind of music do you listen to?
Dogs? Or should we just end this conversation right now?
And what do you do for a living?
Is Cleveland your final destination?
Are you from there? And what's your name?
Um, going in order, if I can remember them all.
Sad British pop music.
Dogs, of course. I think they're better than people.
I'm... a writer.
Uh, I'm a born-and-raised Clevelander.
Uh, and my name is Renn.
(SNORING CONTINUES)
Your turn.
- I am not from Cleveland. - Great.
And I am going there for a work conference.
I'm Zoey.
(ANNOUNCEMENT BEEP)
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Prepare for arrival.
I see you're, uh, taking in our beautiful Cleveland weather.
- Yeah. - Yeah, this sucks.
- Yeah. - (PHONE RINGS)
- That the missus? - No, uh, it's my sister.
Oh. Home to see the family.
- Uh, yeah. Ish. - Okay.
Not really.
All right, that's incredibly vague
and makes me wanna ask you
a million more questions,
but, um, my car is here, so...
Yeah. Well, um, you're new to the city.
If you need a restaurant recommend... I don't know.
Do you wanna... We don't... We don't have to.
- No. Give me your phone. - Okay.
Yes.
I never know how to ask that.
- No, it was smooth. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
- Yeah. - Very.
- There you go. - See ya.
Do you mind taking the long way, please?
DRIVER: What?
The long way, to my destination, if you don't mind.
It's a super weird thing to ask. Kind of expensive.
But yeah, sure, of course. Just give me five stars.
Thanks.
(♪ COCONUT RECORDS: "WIRES")
MOM: What? - RENN: Show me your hands.
- Mom. Did you steal the espresso spoon? - What spoon?
The spoon you asked the waitress for, for your espresso,
even though you didn't order an espresso, that one.
- Oh, that one. - Yeah.
- What about it? - You cannot steal espresso spoons from restaurants.
- You know, they prepare for this. - Who does?
- They stock up. The restaurants. - What are you talking about?
They have extras. In fact, they're happy when you steal them.
- They're happy about it? - Yep.
And why are they happy about it?
Because they need you to steal them.
- They have too many. - Just too many?
- Yes. - They're running out of room.
It makes a lot of sense when you put it like that.
- You're like the Robin Hood of spoons. - Yep.
Great, well, you're a kleptomaniac, so I don't know what to tell you.
(LAUGHS)
It's insane.
Stole a bunch of stuff again.
- Oh, it's just a spoon. Come on. - Smile.
- My mom, the criminal. Okay, let's go. - (LAUGHS)
- (KNOCKING) - Yeah, one sec.
Yeah?
- Hey. - Hey.
I didn't hear you come in.
Yeah, no, I just... I just got in. Uh, the ride took forever.
- I would have come and gotten you. - You're probably busy and...
Dad was gonna get you.
Leigh, I... I'm good, right?
- I'm here, so... - Okay.
- Are you okay? - What?
Are you okay?
Yeah. I'm... I'm fine.
All right. I'll let you, um... settle in.
- Yeah. I'll just... - Yeah.
Um, I was thinking
we should probably aim to leave at nine tomorrow
'cause we have a bunch of stuff to do.
- Nine. - Nine. Great.
Okay.
Happy you're home.
Good to see you.
(WHISPERS) What am I talking about?
(SIGHS)
DAD: It's not in there.
The booze, the good stuff, I moved it.
I would have picked you up from the airport.
- I know. - You like to take the long way.
So, how you doing?
Yeah, I'm fine.
- How are you doing? - How am I doing?
Dad, come on, you were married to her for 15 years.
Don't you worry about me, okay? Let's focus on you.
How's work? Your place, your apartment?
Uh... It's... Um...
I mean, it's good, Dad. I mean, it's... What's going on?
- What? - Mm-mm.
I feel like I'm failing you.
- What do you mean? - That I'm... I'm failing you.
- You're not. - Yeah, well, I feel like I am.
I feel like I should tell you
something comforting and profound.
- Like what? - I don't know. Quoting Thoreau or something.
I don't even know if he's the right author, actually.
- The woods guy? - Yeah. He went to the pond.
- Why do you need to quote him? - Because that's what we do.
We... When we don't have the words ourselves to get through stuff,
we borrow it from somebody else who said it.
No, I don't need to quote trees to get through this, Dad. I'm fine.
And you're fine, and Leigh is Leigh, and we're all fine.
No, we are not fine, okay? We're sucking, officially. We are.
I mean, look at this, right now.
Here we are in this perfect father-son,
kitchen-table, drinking-after-dark moment.
And I can't think of a single goddamn thing to say
that doesn't sound like I was just googling
"how to console a loved one."
Did you?
Yes.
(CHUCKLES)
Sorry. What did it say?
- That I'm fucking this up. - You are not fucking it up.
Okay? You're here. You got me my favorite booze.
- You googled something about... - How to console a loved one.
How to console a loved one. See? You're doing great.
- Great? - Well, good.
Uh-uh. Good.
- Yeah. - Borderline sucking.
No, because if you were really great, that would be weird.
I would... I would... This is better.
You shouldn't be a pro at this.
Well, thank you.
For making me feel better.
Of course. It's what I'm here for.
Ah. Okay. Ooh.
- (GROWLS) - Yes, great.
Okay.
Good night.
Don't stay up late.
No chance. I'm... I'm beat.
(MESSAGE BLEEP)
(♪ YUMI ZOUMA: "IN CAMERA")
I gotta say, this is kind of weird,
not having our mouth-breathing,
disgusting friend between us.
Yeah. God, I miss him.
I miss him, yeah. Miss him so much.
- But here we are, you know. - (LAUGHS)
- You look amazing. - I wanted to look nice.
Airplane me was... airplane me.
- What would you like? - Uh, champagne, please.
- Oh, fancy. - I like to set a mood.
Uh, champagne for her. And I'll take a tequila soda with lime, please.
- ZOEY: That's all you're gonna say? - What do you want me to say?
- I mean, it's Cleveland. - How... I don't know, you know?
More than that. I mean, you're gonna make me pull it out of you.
You're worse than my patients.
- Patients? - Mm-hm.
Doctor?
- Therapist. - Oh, no.
Oh, well, this is bad. I'm gonna have to leave now.
- But it was so fun. - Come on.
Two hours and you're just now telling me you're a therapist?
- You really want me to answer that? - No, I don't, actually.
ZOEY: Mm-mm.
So, they don't have,
like, therapy conventions
in the place that you live in?
Oh, no, they do. They do. Yeah.
Then why Cleveland?
Why is this still my question? I asked you a question.
What was it like growing up in the land of Cleve?
Yeah, I answered said question. But fine. Uh...
You hang out in someone's basement, make out in someone's basement.
You know, there's a lot of, uh, basement-related activities.
- Mm-hm. - And it's just that, you know.
You spend time with family.
- Spend time with friends. - Mmm.
That's it. Your turn.
Well, I'm here for a therapy conference, so...
Yeah, but...
But I'm also getting a divorce.
I didn't know people came to Cleveland to get divorced.
(CHUCKLES) They don't, uh, but they do come to Cleveland
when their ex is finally moving out of the house
and they need to get away for a couple of days.
Yeah.
So, if you don't mind me asking,
what was the cause of death?
Well, I mean, the death certificate
would say his infidelities,
but I think that's like saying
Scarface died from falling off of that ledge
rather than the thousands of bullets
that hit him on his way down, you know?
- Sick Scarface reference. - Thanks.
Well, I'm sorry. That... That sucks.
I'm not.
(♪ WILD NOTHING: "BLUE WINGS")
- Oh! - Oh!
So, what about you?
I mean, I remember you saying that you were here
spending time with your sister.
Um, so, I guess, why are you home?
- Uh, family reunion. - That's cool.
Oh, yeah.
Well, cheers to you spending more time with your family.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- This was... really nice. - This was really nice. Thank you.
Another drink? One more?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
(SIGHS)
DAD: How was the flight?
It was good.
Did you eat?
No.
Well, if you're hungry or whatever,
there's gonna be food there.
At the restaurant?
Yeah, of course there's gonna be food at the restaurant.
I'm just saying if you were wondering, maybe.
No, I'm not hungry. Who's gonna be there?
Uh, Mom, Leigh, me, you, and Rick.
- Rick? - You excited to see Rick?
Yeah, I just... I can't wait. One big happy family, huh?
Well, happy or not, it is a family.
Exactly what your mom needs right now.
- That and a miracle. - You don't know that.
Yeah, I've... I've seen the research.
Well, in case you're wrong...
The case studies... I mean, Dad, come on.
In case you're wrong, what's wrong with being positive?
You mean be fake?
Pretend? Dad, come on.
I'm not saying the road ahead's gonna be easy.
And I'm not saying to pretend or be fake.
I'm saying I don't think you should plan to lose her.
Because... I think there's a lot of memories still to come
that you'll miss out on.
Yeah.
- Uh, Wheeland. - Uh, Barona, actually.
- MOM: Oh, hey. - DAD: Hey.
- Good to see you. - MOM: Good to see you.
- You look good. - So do you.
- This is nice. - Yeah.
Yeah, I hope the food's okay. I don't know.
I bet it is.
Okay, so, um, before we get started, I have two rules, right?
Number one is there is going to be no crying.
All right? If anybody has to cry, they will go to the bathroom.
And, um, number two, let's not make this weird.
I... I know that Rick is on his way. Darren is here.
This is the first time that we have all been together.
- I don't want it to be awkward. - Okay.
I think you broke rule number two.
(LAUGHTER)
- Ooh. - DARREN: What'd you get?
- I got you tequila. - It's the house cab.
DARREN: Can I get one of those?
Thanks, Mom.
- Should have got a bottle. - LEIGH: I know.
- MOM: So, how was the flight? - Mmm.
The flight was... was good. Kind of long. Uh...
About two minutes into it, the guy sitting next to me
decided to take his shoes off.
- DARREN: What? - Oh, no.
- And then his socks. - No.
Uh, and then about halfway through,
he pulled out a bag of hard-boiled eggs
and just started peeling 'em and...
- No, he did not. - Who travels with eggs?
I swear to God.
Hey, buddy, I'm very happy to see you.
Yeah. You too.
And thank you very much for taking me today.
- It's very sweet of you. - Of course.
RICK: Hi.
Hi. Hi, hi.
- DARREN: Hey. - Okay.
- Oh, I guess we're... - Hi.
- Sorry. Traffic was crazy.
- Oh, it's okay. - Just a crazy day.
What? I stopped at the bar. I was finishing a call.
- MOM: That's good. - What did I miss?
Nothing. I was just telling Leigh
that I was grateful
that she came with me to the clinic.
And I said, "Of course."
Yeah, thanks. Sorry. I couldn't.
(SIGHS)
LEIGH: It's okay. I got it.
MOM: All right, so toast.
Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight.
I wanted to say how much I appreciate
you all being here with me.
And I know that the next few months
are gonna be really tough.
I'm breaking rule number one. (LAUGHS)
- What? - So silly.
What rule? What? You... Did she make rules?
It doesn't matter.
♪ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪
♪ Happy birthday... ♪
(♪ ANDREA AND ERVIN LITKEL: "THE TOUCH OF YOU")
RENN: Mmm.
(GROANS)
- Let's hear it. - From here, we go to the hospital to get her things.
Then we go to the funeral home to meet with Rick.
(GROANS)
And then we go to meet the priest.
The what?
The priest.
- The priest? - A priest.
- A priest-priest? - Yes.
- She's Jewish. - Rick said she wanted one.
- A priest? - Yes.
- At her funeral? - Yes.
- Even though she's literally Jewish. - You already said that.
- This is insane. - I don't know. That's what he said.
That our Jewish mother wanted a priest at her funeral?
Not once in my 28 years on this planet
did I ever once hear her say,
"You know, when I die,
make sure to go find some random fucking priest
to give the eulogy at my funeral."
I don't know. It's Rick's call.
How? We're her children.
- Because he's paying for it. - Oh, my God.
- That's an insane statement. - Why?
Because this isn't like, "I'm paying for dinner.
I feel like blooming onion.
Let's go to fucking Outback Steakhouse."
This is her life!
- Okay. Here we got some pancakes. - What the fuck?
We got extra crispy bacon.
Melon and some yogurt. Uh, all good?
- LEIGH: Thank you. - Yay.
Ooh. All right, fine. What comes after the priest?
And then we go to Mom's house, and we get her clothes for...
For the coffin?
Even though she wanted to be cremated.
- You don't know that. - She hated it here.
- She did not hate it here. - Leigh. Leigh.
She hated it here. I mean, maybe she loved it in like an
"I was born and raised here, so it's home" kind of way.
But no. No, she hated it here.
And now she's gonna be buried
in the cold Cleveland ground forever.
Well, maybe if you would have answered your phone any one of the 30 times
that I tried to call or text you in the past few days,
then you could have been a part of the decision-making process.
Whatever.
Let us pray for this bountiful harvest.
Thank you for this food. Amen.
Okay.
The priest would have done a better job.
(♪ BEACH FOSSILS: "SLEEP APNEA")
♪ Pardon me ♪
♪ I didn't realize ♪
♪ What's in your eyes ♪
♪ My arms are open wide ♪
♪ But I can't ever decide what I wanna do ♪
♪ I'm staring at the sky ♪
♪ But I can't tell which way my thoughts are traveling... ♪
- Can you help me? - Yeah, sorry.
So there's, um, a treatment at Ohio State.
And the results look promising.
- Yeah, how do you know that? - It says it right there.
Yeah, but they're all gonna say the results are good.
I mean, they... I... How do we know this is a good choice?
(CLEARS THROAT)
There's one at MD Anderson.
Maybe I could call Lisa and...
(LEIGH'S VOICE FADES)
NURSE: She loved that thing.
Slept with it every night.
- And you must be Renn. - Yeah, hi.
- It's nice to finally meet you. - Hi.
- Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. - Thank you.
Renn, did you meet Kim? She took amazing care of Mom.
She always snuck her in extra desserts.
Your mother was a pleasure to know.
Well, follow me.
I've got the rest of her things packed up.
Thank you, room.
LEIGH: Mom, you can't stay in there forever.
MOM: Um, uh, yes, I can.
Okay, what if we come in there?
Renn, that is the exact same thing as me coming out there.
- I'm not doing it, no. Not doing it. - Mom, it's temporary, okay?
It's gonna grow back. Don't stress.
Okay, how about you take a picture and text it to us,
and then we're not really seeing you,
and you're not really seeing us.
All right, fine. All right.
Okay, I'll do it.
I just need a minute.
- (SIGHS) - Can we stop?
Leigh?
Leigh, can we stop somewhere, please?
- No. We have a schedule. - Just for a minute.
- So how's John? - He's fine.
- When's he coming in? - Uh, I don't... I don't know.
- He's working on it. - What does that mean?
It means that he's got some work stuff that he's gotta deal with,
and he's gonna come out when he can.
Okay. Are you angry with me?
- No. - Are you sure?
- Yeah. - Because it really feels like you're angry with me.
Why are you suddenly so interested in how I'm feeling?
Let's just... Let's just talk about something else.
Okay. How's John?
See, in the comedy world,
we call that a callback.
I don't wanna talk about comedy either.
Wait. We need to talk about the schedule.
- What about it? - We need to amend it.
- Why? - I gotta buy a tie.
- You didn't bring a tie? - I don't own a tie.
- You don't own a tie? - Not a black one.
Not one that I can wear to a funeral.
Yeah. Okay, fine.
Why is that so annoying to you?
You can borrow my car later. It's fine.
Thank you.
Can I borrow it now?
This place is so depressing,
I just wanna drive into the wall.
- Oh, shit. I saw that. - What?
- Uh, that was a smile. - It wasn't a smile.
What is this, my first day on Planet Earth?
- Yeah, that was a smile. - It was a slight smile.
- Still a smile. - Fine, it was a smile.
All right, I'm gonna go find Rick. Don't say "Ugh."
Yeah, you do that. I'm gonna stay right here in Sad Town.
(GENTLE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
- Divorce him? - You have to do something, Mom.
I can't divorce Rick. Not now anyway.
- Why not? - Because. Because I... I...
So you're just gonna stick it out? That sounds awful.
Well, honey, what is the alternative?
I am going to be a then twice-divorced,
56-year-old lady living in Cleveland.
- Mm-hm. - That is the saddest sentence I have ever said.
Yeah, the only sad part about that statement
is that you're living in Cleveland.
I mean, you gotta get out of here.
Go to Paris. Go to... Alaska.
- (LAUGHS) - Go to Rome.
- Rome? - Yes. You should go somewhere.
- Oh, my God. - Anywhere else.
Do your eat, pray, love thing. You know, minus the... the pray.
Yeah. And minus the love, 'cause it's not happening.
- So, what do we have? We have... - And then you have eat...
- Eat, eat. - Eat, eat. That sounds good.
- Yeah. - But seriously.
Seriously, Mom, you should go.
- No, I can't. My job. - Then quit your job.
No, I can't quit my job, because then I have a house to pay for
and then I have a car, and I do have a life here, I do.
I can't... I can't go. As much as I would like to, I can't, and...
Well, then, I'll come home.
I will walk through this divorce with you, okay?
- We'll get divorced together. - You're gonna go through two divorces?
And... And then we can find you somebody nice,
like actually nice, to spend time with.
Like this guy down here, he looks very seasoned,
and like he's lived a great life, you know?
Probably stays up on his current events and...
- There's definitely options out there. - He's cute.
Yeah, he's... He also looks like he's taken.
Rick was not such a bad guy. I'm telling you, he wasn't.
He was fun.
Sure, yeah. But, seriously, I can come home and help you...
No, you're not coming home.
No. You're living your life.
You have to stay writing. You're such a good writer.
Promise me you will keep writing. Promise me.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
- Promise? - I promise.
- Hundred percent? - Hundred percent.
LEIGH: Renn, Renn.
Downstairs.
(SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
So, what are we doing here?
What's about to go down in the consoling room?
Uh, the funeral guy is just setting up some caskets.
I don't know. We're just waiting for him.
- Setting up? - Yeah.
- Like a casket display? - A casket display.
Like a casket showroom?
Yeah. How many more questions are you gonna ask, Renn?
- How many caskets? - Three.
I mean, three that fit in my budget.
- You have a casket budget? - Yeah, I do.
Maybe they have certified pre-owned caskets.
Just like the new ones but just a little bit cheaper.
I'm sorry, Renn, do you wanna contribute?
Maybe with some of that writer's money you've been hoarding?
Well, that's a particularly low blow.
- Okay, enough. Both of you. - (SIGHS)
Not here and not now. Rick, who is the funeral guy?
I don't know. He's just some weird guy that runs this place.
- No. I mean what is his name? - It's Bob.
- Hi. I'm Bill. - Ah. So nice to meet you.
- What was it again? - Bill.
Bill, that's right. So nice to meet you, Bill.
Excuse me for one second. Mrs. Donnellan, your family is going to love you in that.
It's a forever home. (LAUGHS)
Okay, then, let me show you what we got.
Some great options here.
Uh, question about the one on the right, Bill.
Can we get anything written on there?
Like a... Like a custom message?
Or is it just the standard "rest in peace"?
Oh, sure. No, no, no, you could... you could customize it any way you want.
Names. Dates.
- Favorite saying, perhaps. - Favorite saying, perhaps.
- That's right. - Jinx. Like YOLO.
Renn.
She would have thought that was funny. Come on.
- Are those her initials? - LEIGH: You can ignore him.
This one's interesting on the left.
- Oh, well, that is very popular. - RENN: I can see why, Bill.
I love the idea of a casket with flames on it, you know.
It really sends a solid message to your loved one
where you think they're headed.
Renn.
Yeah, sure. Do you wanna go with that one, then?
- Mmm... - No, continue ignoring him.
Yeah, just ignore me.
- I vote for the one in the middle. - I agree.
- You heard him. - Well, shall we?
Are you crazy? I'm trying to promote you to payroll supervisor.
- I know. - It's an honor.
I mean, other people want it. Like Gary.
He really wants it. I mean, you can make a lot of money here.
I mean, you're our guy. Supervisor of the payroll.
We can wait for you. Think about it.
- I'll call you. - Yeah. Thank you.
(PHONE RINGS)
- Everything okay? - Yep. All good.
Well, great scheduling job.
From a funeral home
to the cradle of death itself.
LEIGH: Just be nice in there. He's a priest.
RENN: Yeah, and clearly a demon followed him home and moved in.
Is that an Annabelle doll in the front yard?
- It's not an Annabelle doll. - It is. Look. Right...
- No. - It's a... It's an Annabelle doll.
- Maybe he has nieces. - What, and they left it behind?
Maybe he doesn't know they left it behind.
I'm assuming he's a human person with human eyes.
Maybe he lost his eyes fighting the demon who followed him home.
Holy shit.
- No. - First a smile, then a joke.
I mean, for someone that didn't wanna talk about comedy an hour ago,
this is pretty huge.
- Don't get used to it. - Oh, you're changing.
I can see it happening.
Ah, there we go. Right on cue.
(MUSIC BLARING ON CAR STEREO)
The Miata.
He's blocking the sidewalk.
- (MUSIC STOPS) - I'm gonna call in a ticket for him.
- You get a juice? - Smoothie juice.
- What's a smoothie juice? - A smuice. I'm on a diet.
Oh, well, you look great.
(HESITANT PIANO NOTES PLAYING)
- Rick, hey. Hey. - Father Dan.
You must be Renn and Leigh. Pleasure to meet you both.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm in the middle of a lesson.
But come in, come in. Welcome, welcome.
(HESITANT PIANO NOTES CONTINUE)
All right. Adam, keep practicing. You're doing great.
Sharon, he's doing great. He sounds fantastic.
SHARON: It's so good.
I'm so glad you guys are finally
getting to meet Father Dan.
- Finally? - RICK: Yeah.
Father Dan has been a true champion for us
throughout this entire difficult process.
No, really, he's a spiritual hero
that, no matter how bad it got, never let us down.
It just means so much that he'll be there for us in the end.
Thank you, Rick. So nice of you to say.
I'm so relieved to hear that you knew our mother.
I... I didn't know that.
He didn't know her. He never met her.
He's more my spiritual hero.
- Hero. - But that's where you two come in.
I've already told him tons about your mother.
What she likes, her favorite foods and stuff.
But what he'll do now is
he'll sit and talk with you separately,
gather some more information,
and then stitch it together
with my information,
and we'll have our eulogy.
Like a eulogy quilt.
I know you're trying to be funny, but, yeah, exactly.
A eulogy quilt.
I got some errands to run, so I'm gonna take off.
Handoff is complete. (CHUCKLES)
All right.
- All right. Thanks, Rick. - Thank you.
- Bye, Rick. - DAN: All right.
(SIGHS)
Sorry I didn't clean up.
I didn't really have a chance today.
He's getting so much better.
Not so good, like, maybe two months ago,
but, like, that little thing, doing really well.
- Yeah. - Yeah, no, he's really good.
- Really good. - Thank you. So, um, who's up?
(CLOCK TICKING)
- DAN: Renn? - Sorry.
Uh, can you repeat the question?
Uh... Oh.
How are you?
I'm fine.
So how does this work? Um...
You just ask me a series of questions about how I'm doing?
Or do I just keep rambling?
Well, before I get started, I always like to ask
if the person I'm talking to would prefer
to deliver the eulogy themselves.
- No. - I understand.
It can be challenging, to say the least.
Yeah.
But I still like to ask,
just to make sure,
before I get started.
Okay.
Yeah. No. Thank you. The answer's still no, though.
Okay.
Perhaps we should start, uh,
by you telling me a little bit about her.
Tell me about Lily Katherine.
Lily Katherine.
Just curious. What did Rick say?
What did he tell you about my mother?
Well, I prefer not to get into your father's comments.
- Step. - Stepfather. Sorry.
Stepfather's comments. Or your sister's, for that matter.
Okay, so tomorrow's eulogy
is just supposed to be, like... like, a surprise?
I don't know if I'd quite put it that way,
but I've always found it helps for the person
to think of their loved one on their own.
However you wanna see them, not influenced by anyone else.
So tell me about her, Renn.
Her hobbies, favorite movies, or a favorite memory of her.
Yeah, I don't know. I... I can't think of one right now.
What's the first thing that comes to mind
when you think of her?
That she would have hated this.
What do you mean, this?
Sitting around, talking about the end of her life
with Rick's spiritual hero.
No offense.
Why would she hate that?
Because she hated people talking about her.
I mean, it's why she didn't tell anyone
what she was going through.
She, you know, kept it all inside. No one could know.
I see.
She hated hearing people's opinions,
hearing about some aunt or uncle
who took a magic pill and beat it.
Maybe that's a better place to start.
Not telling you her favorite hobbies and food,
you know, the bullshit.
Sorry. Language. The stuff she liked.
Because who gives a shit? Again, sorry.
But telling you what she hated.
Find me somebody who hated running into someone at the mall
as much as she did.
I think that says a lot more about my mom.
All the things she hated. Like people and talking.
And this. She would have hated this.
LEIGH: You did what? - LILY: What?
- What? - What did you take?
Oh, my God. I didn't do anything.
I just took a cup, okay?
You took a... Oh, my God. You did it again.
Leigh, calm down, okay? People do this all the time in restaurants.
It's why they keep extras. They have extra stock. It's fine.
- Yes, it is. - That is not true. Unreal.
- You took the saucer? - I did. And a spoon.
- You took the entire set? - (LILY LAUGHS)
- You can't take one piece of the set. - LILY: Exactly.
- LEIGH: You're gonna get arrested. - Give me a break.
LEIGH: I'm not bailing you out.
Why are you getting so worked up?
Because there is not one single thing
that you've taken seriously today.
There has not been one moment that has registered with you.
And it's fucking pissing me off.
It's registered with me.
No, it hasn't. It hasn't.
You have been going through the motions.
It's like you're not even here.
I'm here, okay?
But can you just let me have my reaction
and figure this out on my own?
You're not figuring it out.
You're making jokes.
You're not feeling anything.
Who cares?
This... This is bullshit.
- This is not bullshit, Renn. - Her favorite food?
It's not, because it's happening.
This is really fucking happening.
The day that we've dreaded, that we've thought about,
is finally here.
And you can't continue to ignore the fact
that she's sick anymore because she's gone.
- I'm not ignoring anything. - She's gone.
- Are you hearing what I'm saying? - Yes, I hear you.
- She's gone. - I hear you.
Well, then, have some sort of reaction.
I'm having a reaction!
I'm yelling, aren't I? That's a reaction.
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean I'm not doing it.
Renn, I know you pretty well,
and you're just doing the exact same thing
that you've always done, which is you ignore your problems.
You don't wanna feel anything. You don't wanna talk about it.
- I got it. - Well, then, ask questions.
Like what?
How are you gonna deal with your life
without having your mom in it?
How are you going to move on?
You don't need to know the answers to the questions,
but you need to start asking them.
No.
Well, then, we're gonna be right back here,
we're gonna be back here six months from now,
a year from now, six years from now,
having the exact same conversation
and you hitting the ignore button when I call.
You don't know that.
- Okay. - Okay.
(ON RADIO) ♪ Let's go, baby Let's go, baby, come on ♪
♪ Take your cue from me now ♪
♪ I'm saying, baby, let's go ♪
♪ Will you listen to me? ♪
♪ I'm saying, baby, come on now ♪
♪ Let's go 'cause we can't hold back no more ♪
(MUSIC STOPS)
(LEIGH UNLOCKS FRONT DOOR)
I'm gonna go up in her closet and see what I can find for tomorrow.
- Okay. - I don't wanna be here long.
We'll just come back tomorrow and get the rest of her stuff.
(♪ FRANK LOCRASTO: "HOPE STREET")
Hey, buddy. What are you doin'?
(LEIGH SOBBING)
Leigh?
(MUSIC ENDS)
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
WOMAN: Are you lost?
Excuse me. Are you lost?
- What? - Are you lost?
Uh, sorry. I need a tie.
Oh, men's dress. Um, right up there.
Oh, shit.
You need anything?
- Renn? - (WHISPERS) Fuck.
- Hey. Hey. - Renn, dude.
How's it going, man? How's LA?
How's the whole writing thing going?
- Catch me up. - It's good. LA's good.
You write anything lately? Anything I would have seen?
No, uh, not yet. Just taking a lot of meetings and stuff and...
Shoot. I mean, I'm sure it'll pick up. It takes a...
You know, my cousin actually left for LA, doing the whole acting thing.
Real weird-looking dude.
Yeah, he looks like he got hit in the back
while he was making a surprised face,
and his face just kind of stayed that way.
- I'm sorry to hear that. - Yeah.
I think he actually just booked, um,
a laundry detergent commercial.
Uh, are you asking me? I... I don't know him.
Yep. No, it was. It was. It was a laundry detergent commercial.
Anyhow, dude worked one day, made 20 grand.
One day, 20 smackaroos?
No, I mean, I've heard the money in commercials is crazy.
Yeah, it's crazy. You should do them, man.
Yeah, that's more advertising.
But I'll keep that in mind, for sure.
Yeah, you know, keep... keep it in mind.
Anyways, how are you... how you doing, man? How's, um...
I... I heard the news. I heard about your mom.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um...
- Yeah, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Damn. I, um...
You know, I... I remember your mom.
She was... She was a really nice lady.
- Yeah. Thank you. - Um, she...
I remember she used to always be late to pick you up from school.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, that's true.
Ah, sorry, that's... that's probably not the best memory
to bring up right now.
No, it's... it's a good one.
You know, I actually also remember my mom, one day,
she was late to come pick me up
because my dad had just gotten fired from work
and he came home early.
And then him and my mom got into this, like, huge fight
and she stormed out, and I guess because she was so pissed,
she forgot to come get me.
And then, um, I remember your mom came up to me and was like,
"Hey, Andy, I'll just wait for you.
Come back in the car. We'll listen to music. It'll be fun."
And then so I got in the car with you and your mom,
and then she put on...
- Paul Simon. - Paul Simon.
She loved Paul Simon.
And then it was just... just the three of us, you know?
Me, you, and your mom sitting in the car,
listening to Paul Simon.
And then my mom did come to pick me up,
and then she took me home, and, man,
the two of them just got right back to the fighting.
I mean, like, just all night fighting,
and I did not wanna hear it anymore,
so I snuck downstairs and got into their collection,
and I... I found that same CD.
And then I, you know, went back up to my little bedroom
and put on my headphones.
I didn't hear them fighting the rest of the night.
- Yeah. - Your mom did that for me.
She was, um... She was a really nice lady.
Thank you.
Sorry, man. Yeah.
It's good to see you.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(MESSAGE BLEEP)
♪ Catch me I'm fallin'... ♪
- Yeah! - Whoo!
♪ Catch me now I'm fallin' ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I'm fallin' ♪
- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - Thank you, Cleveland!
- MAN: Roses, roses. - I will be right back.
Oh.
- Hi. - You're welcome.
You were right. I regret coming to meet you here.
- So I'm gonna... - Oh, no, no, no. It's too late.
Now you have to come and meet my friends.
You can't leave. Come here.
- Guys, this is Renn. - MAN: Oh, Renn.
- Hi. Hey. - Hi. Sam.
- Hi. Parker. Nice to meet you. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
You were so good. That performance was so good.
So good. Will totally be the top karaoke performance of the night.
Okay, so my goal for tonight is to get you up on that stage.
No, no, no. No, I need, like, 900 shots if that's gonna happen.
- And it's not gonna happen, so... - I'll be right back.
- Yes. - Oh, my God.
(LAUGHS)
Wait, so, how do you know Zoey?
Uh, we met fighting alien robots on a plane.
Okay, so you're one of her patients?
Yeah. Yeah. How do you guys know her?
- Go way back or... - BOTH: No.
We met her this morning at our conference.
- Yeah, but we already love her. - Yeah. How could you not?
- Yeah. - Were you guys just talking about me?
- Yes, but only good things. - Okay, well, go on.
- PARKER: Oh, boy. - All right, so cheers to participating.
And to your lovely town of Cleveland.
- To Cleveland and participating. - RENN: To Cleveland.
PARKER: To Cleveland!
Mmm. What is that, alcohol?
- SAM: Mmm. - Yep.
♪ On my way to the seventh house ♪
♪ I ended up ♪
♪ Caught right in the river's mouth ♪
♪ Spinning in circles ♪
♪ Fake water feels black and cool ♪
♪ But it wears me out... ♪
- Who did this? - SAM: Thank you.
- PARKER: That is so rude. - SAM: Thank you so... Thank you.
- Hey. - PARKER: Hey.
- Danger zone, danger zone. - ZOEY: Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- I'm gonna step out. - You got it.
PARKER: Why does it taste different?
Honestly, number five, I'm just...
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Uh, uh, Cleveland!
(ZOEY EXHALES)
(RENN SNIFFS)
- Hi. - How's my favorite emo boy doing?
He's about two seconds away from getting
a Dashboard Confessional mark on his calf.
- Ooh! - Yeah.
(ZOEY LAUGHS)
So I take it family time was a bit much.
Yeah, you could say that.
What'd y'all do today?
Uh, what'd we do today?
Went to a funeral home, a hospital.
Met a priest. Um, insulted a priest.
I had a fight with my sister,
and she had a breakdown in the closet.
Then I got a tie. Now this.
I feel like you're gonna have way more than four questions after that.
(ZOEY SIGHS)
No, just one.
Why are you actually home?
Yeah, that's the right one.
Um...
My mom died.
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
Renn, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, thank you.
Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know. Um... I...
I guess I thought if I didn't say it out loud,
then it wasn't real.
I get that.
But it is. Um...
She's gone, and her funeral is tomorrow.
God, that feels crazy to say out loud.
I'm going to my mom's funeral tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Are you? I mean, I wouldn't be.
Yeah. No, I'm not.
And I... I don't know why I keep saying that.
It's like this whole thing just doesn't feel real, you know?
And... And I... I don't know how to deal with it.
So I just... I keep ignoring it and avoiding it, and...
I'm worried that I'm gonna be stuck like this forever.
Yeah. I know it feels like that.
But eventually...
it may be very, very slowly, but eventually...
you'll get better at dealing with it and living with it.
I don't know how to explain it,
but it feels like there's two halves of my life.
The good half, you know,
before all this started, before she got sick.
And then there's the shitty half, present company excluded,
is the half I don't wanna get better at dealing with.
I just wanna go back before watching her wear gloves
because her hands were too chapped,
or helping her pick out a wig.
Or which hospital to go to,
which would eventually not save her.
You know, I just wanna be back
on a bar patio like this with her,
just talking and laughing.
I want the good half again.
And it's weird, it's like, I...
I have these glimpses of the good half...
you know, but they just feel so far away now, and...
It's like I can see them. Right?
But I can't... I can't touch them.
I'm just watching them.
I'm not...
I'm not participating. And it's so sad, you know.
I just keep looking at my phone all the time...
thinking I'll see a text or a call from her that's like,
"Hey, buddy, you know, I'm... I'm... I'm kidding. I'm fine."
But... you know, I know that's not, um...
that's not gonna happen.
And, uh...
instead, I get these calls from my boss
for a job that I don't want.
And my sister just calls me
and reminds me of all the things we have to do
because... our mom's gone.
And so I... I just keep ignoring and avoiding and, uh...
fucking everything up.
I... I'm sorry. I've said too much.
No. I... I don't think that you're fucking everything up.
Yeah, well, I don't think I'm doing a good job.
Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to be.
Thanks.
Hey, um... Can I come tomorrow?
- Come to my mom's funeral? - It sounds weird.
- It's kind of weird. - But I... I...
I don't know. I just wanna be there for you.
I'd like that, yeah.
- Cool. - Cool.
(LAUGHS)
I think I'm ready.
Ready for what?
I'm... I'm interested in what any of this means.
- Let's go. - Okay. (LAUGHS) What?
(♪ "I MELT WITH YOU")
♪ Moving forward Using all my breath ♪
♪ Making love to you was never second best ♪
♪ I saw your world thrashing all around your face ♪
♪ I saw it ♪
♪ Never really knowing mesh and lace... ♪
Come on! ♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you ♪
♪ You've seen the difference ♪
♪ And it's getting better all the time ♪
♪ There's nothing you and I won't do ♪
♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you ♪
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(♪ FRANK LOCRASTO: "HAWAIIAN CHURCH")
DAN: We are gathered here today to pay our final respects
to Lily Katherine.
Teacher, friend, sister, wife,
and mother.
Lily Katherine was full of light and laughter.
She had a laugh that could fill a room.
Her loving husband, the love of her life, Rick,
said that she loved people most of all.
In fact, he says that she would have loved
to see you all here today,
to talk to you all, to hold your hands
and hear all about your lives.
She loved catching up with friends,
talking about her favorite movies, one of which...
(WHISPERS) Sorry.
(WHISPERS) What?
I can only think of one memory of her right now, um...
and I wish it was something cool, like...
jumping out of an airplane or...
or mountain climbing, um, but it's not.
It's, uh... It's her, it's me.
We're driving home from the mall.
And I'm nine years old, and I'm pissed.
Because she forgot me at a clothing store.
She told me to sit and wait on a bench at an Ann Taylor
with my Superman comic and wait
while she tried on a few thousand articles of clothing.
Leigh knows, that was a favorite hobby of hers.
She would buy some new clothes, uh,
keep the tags on 'em, and bring them back.
Anyway...
She, uh... She did that a lot.
And, um, this time in particular, it was a sweater.
And she bought it and walked out.
And I sat there on that bench and... And...
waited for her to come back, um...
A couple of hours later, she did, and she...
she came rushing in,
apologizing up and down, but I was still pissed.
This old lady kept asking me, "Are you lost?"
And the thing is, I... I wasn't. I... I was... I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Uh, she just... she left me.
When I think back on it now,
you know, all I feel is... is jealousy.
'Cause I wish I could relive that day.
I wish I could relive sitting on that bench
in that store with that Superman comic.
I'm jealous of that nine-year-old boy, you know.
'Cause if I could just relive that...
relive that day, then that would mean...
she comes back.
(WHISPERS) Sorry.
(KISSES)
(♪ FRANK LOCRASTO: "HAWAIIAN CHURCH")
(MUSIC ENDS)
- Hi. - That was a beautiful story, Renn.
Oh, I don't know.
Your mother would have been proud of you.
Thank you.
Let me know if you need anything at all.
RENN: Yeah, will do.
- ZOEY: Hi. - Hi.
Thank you for coming.
Yeah, thank you for letting me be here for you.
(RICK LAUGHS)
- Uh, I see you met my sister. - Yeah, Leigh.
- She's really nice. - RICK: I was like, "Jazz!"
- Yeah. - RICK: "That's what jazz is for!"
(LAUGHS)
- I'm sorry, just one... one sec. - Yeah, of course.
Oh. Nice speech back there, Renn.
Yeah, nice joke right now, Rick.
Well, people grieve in their own ways, Renn.
Mmm, yeah. You know, and some people don't grieve at all, apparently.
- You think I'm not grieving? - Well, I have eyes and ears, so, yeah.
- (WHISPERS) Guys, not now. - It's fine. We're just talking.
Okay, because you're over there all sad,
that must mean she meant more to you than she did to me, right?
- Yeah. Yeah, that. - Oh.
And... And just generally
you not being around for the last two years.
- Or the ten years before that. - LEIGH: Renn.
Or when she started chemo,
or when she was sleeping on the bathroom floor
'cause she didn't have enough energy to move to the bed.
When she started hallucinating from the pain meds she was on.
- You remember that, Leigh? - Jesus, Renn.
That was fun, 'cause, you know, she was seeing people
from her past that weren't actually there,
and then she would start fucking crying
because she was seeing people from her past
who weren't actually there.
You weren't there for any of that,
so, yeah, I feel bad for you,
and I wish you luck with having to live with that.
Yeah? And you're an expert, huh?
You're an expert on what to do when a loved one gets sick?
'Cause what did you do? Come right home?
- Did you stay by her side? - Yeah, I came home.
- LEIGH: Okay. - You came home a couple of times.
I saw my mother plenty.
And I talked to her every fucking night.
And by the way, this isn't about me.
This is about you.
Oh, no. This is about you.
Because in case you realize it or not, when she got sick,
and I mean really sick, you weren't there for her either.
Your sister was, but you weren't.
Yeah, and you were?
- Oh, yeah. - You were?
Compared to you, I was her second layer of skin.
- Guys, maybe don't do this right now. - It's fine.
Hey, he judged me for the way I'm grieving.
I don't judge you for running away and staying away,
doing your writing.
- She told me not to come. - Oh. And you listened.
A sick woman told you not to come home,
and you listened because that's what you wanted to hear.
- I was gonna come home. - But you didn't.
Listen, you really think that she didn't want you to come home?
You really think that she didn't want you there by her side?
You were her favorite, Renn. Sorry. It's true.
She didn't want me there, so I wasn't.
She wanted you there, and you weren't.
And because you weren't, you never got to say goodbye.
Maybe that's what this is about.
- Sorry about that. - DARREN: Rick.
RICK: Good luck living with that.
DARREN: Go on, get out.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I'm sor... Sorry. I...
(SIGHS)
- Sorry. - I'm sorry.
- LEIGH: Thank you so much for coming. - WOMAN: Yeah.
- Drive safe. - (DOOR CLOSES)
- (SIGHS) - (GLASSES CLINK)
(FOOTSTEPS)
Thank you.
(LEIGH SIGHS, GROANS)
- (SIGHS) - Mmm.
How do you do it?
What?
Just keep it all together all the time and...
- You're so strong, you know. - (CHUCKLES)
Renn, I'm... I'm a fucking mess. Really.
- I didn't realize. - Yeah.
Thought the closet breakdown was a one-time thing.
I'm sorry for leaving you alone with all this.
(RENN SIGHS)
You mentioned that... that day that Mom left you in the mall.
I remember that day a little bit differently.
- You weren't there. - Yeah, exactly. I wanted to be.
And I know that she left you in that store,
and that was really scary for you, and I get that.
But I was never invited.
- I'm sorry. - It's okay.
Rick is an asshole, and he's wrong about a lot of things,
and we can get into that in a second, but...
the one thing that he is right about
is that you were her favorite.
We have their personalities, and you know it.
And from time to time, he tried to act more like you.
And then from time to time, she tried to act more like me.
But, I mean, that was the way it was.
Which is why she took you on adventures and not me.
It's not because she didn't love me. I know she loved me.
But because she was avoiding him by avoiding me.
I don't have the memories that you had with her growing up.
But I have them... I have them now.
From a month ago.
Sitting in that hospital room with her,
watching The View, playing cards.
And, yeah, maybe they're not warm and fuzzy,
but they're... they're with her, and...
they're all mine.
So you got the good half with her, and I got the bad, but...
I wouldn't trade my half for the whole world.
Yeah.
And you didn't come home, and I get...
I get why you feel guilty about that.
But Rick is wrong about that part,
because that's exactly what she wanted.
She was avoiding herself by avoiding you.
Because if you would have come home, then...
then it would have been real.
(SNIFFS)
So you can sit and you can sulk and you can cry,
and you can listen to the Smiths or whatever you do.
But I wouldn't, because she wouldn't want you to.
- To Mom. - To Mom.
You were very, very scary. You really got up in his face.
- He's got crazy eyes. - (LAUGHS)
(PHONE BUZZES)
- (GROANS) - What?
- What now? - Fucking Rick.
- So Rick locked us out of the house? - Correct.
- He said he'd drop our stuff off? - Correct.
- And this is what he dropped off? - Correct.
- Motherfucker. - These two boxes and a garbage bag?
- Yep. - Motherfucker.
So Rick gets to decide what childhood memories
we walk away with in two boxes.
And a garbage bag.
- And what about Mom's stuff? - Still in the house.
- Which we're locked out of. - Ding-ding-ding.
Yeah, it's a real dick move. D-I-C-K.
I wanna send him to the bottom of the ocean.
- I wanna scream. - I wanna put a hit out on him.
We could sue him. We don't have a case.
- I wouldn't last two minutes in prison. - You wouldn't.
Motherfuck, Rick.
Okay, there is one thing we could do.
And I can think of one person who'd be very proud of us for doing it.
Mm-mm.
- No, no, no, no, no, no. - Yes.
- No. - Yes, yes, yes, yes.
LEIGH: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
LEIGH: It doesn't look like anybody's home.
DARREN: What if they have a security guard?
LEIGH: Dad, they're not gonna have a security guard.
- (CAR APPROACHES) - Shit.
Okay, for the record, I just wanna say that this is an all-time bad plan.
I'm not... I'm not against it, I'm also not for it, and I just want it noted.
Noted. Okay, let's just walk through the steps.
Okay. "How to break into a house."
LEIGH: Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry.
Before we go any further,
the parent in this situation,
the supposed voice of reason,
is... is on board with this plan?
Yeah. Do I wish I didn't wear my loafers to a B&E? Yeah.
But, most importantly, it's that you two get closure and personal growth.
That's what matters. And getting revenge on Rick 'cause he's a piece of shit.
- And that includes a B&E? - (CHUCKLES)
We said a light breaking-and-entering. We agreed on a light B&E, right?
- Okay, let's stop saying B&E, please. - Okay. But we agreed.
But, yes, it'll be a light one.
Can we go through the steps, please?
Fine. I am not on board. I just... What is step one?
- I'm curious about the steps. - Sure. Step one.
- "Is anyone home?" - Oh, my God.
- Yeah, I feel like that's implied. - It's pretty obvious.
But it's still fundamental.
Let's just say probably nobody's home.
- Probably? - Okay, well, probably no, then we go to step two,
which is, "Do we know if the house has any alarms?"
I don't think that he installed an entire security system today,
and we didn't have anything like that before,
so I'm gonna say also probably no.
No, or probably no again, in this case.
- We jump to step four. - (MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE)
- Shit. - RENN: What?
I... I... I tapped an ad. There's an ad playing.
- Oh, goddamn it, Dad. Come on. - What do you want me to do, Renn?
Who's advertising on a site for breaking and entering?
It's like a video game. It's actually cool.
It's like an underwater sea world with mermaids and seahorses.
- You can't just click out of it? - No.
- The X. - No, no, it doesn't let me do...
RENN: Turn it down. Jesus Christ.
- I am hitting the X. - We're going to jail.
Look, it's okay. It's over. It's over.
It just stopped. Okay? I'm gonna go back to step four.
- "Look for an open window." - An open window.
- An open window? Let's go. - Oh, no, no, no.
- RENN: See if there is one. - BOTH: Don't slam the door.
- We should have rehearsed this. - Rehearsed it?
I don't know. This is like... It's so reckless.
LEIGH: Okay.
- DARREN: The other side. - LEIGH: Oh, wow.
That doesn't look suspicious.
(DOGS BARKING)
- Where is he? It's been like an hour. - No, it's not.
- Here he comes. Here he comes. - Oh, oh.
Oh, boy. This is not...
Okay, too bad. Nothing's open. Let's go. Right?
- Kitchen window's open. - Wait, the one above the sink?
- Yeah. What's step five? - Step five. "Go in that window."
And then what?
- Steal stuff? - No more steps?
It's an article on breaking and entering.
I mean, you probably need another one once you get inside.
- Oh, my God. - We should google it.
- No. - Okay, so, basically,
once you break in, steal stuff.
No, no. You can't go in and steal stuff.
If you steal stuff, then he's gonna notice
and he's gonna call the cops and then we're all gonna get arrested.
- Oh, my God. - You can go in and you can steal items.
But you can't steal stuff, okay?
If I'm gonna do this, if we're all gonna do this,
then we need to make that very, very clear.
- Okay, we're clear. - Yeah.
No, stuff, just a few things.
No, no, no, not things. Items.
You're getting hung up on the word, not the action?
- This feels like stalling now? - No.
- This feels like stalling. - Yeah, we are. I'm stalling.
I am the official staller. Parent time. Voice of reason.
Look, this feels wrong. We all know it's wrong. Okay?
I should probably say something to stop you from doing this.
And I'm... drawing a blank, so...
So we're doing this?
- All right. - Okay.
Steal items on three.
- Steal items on three. - One, two, three.
- BOTH: Steal items. - Items. Items. I...
Items.
- What are you doing? Leigh. Leigh. - I'm going.
No, no, no, no.
Oh.
Mmm...
It's good for them. It's good for them.
LEIGH: Oh, my God.
- Okay, I'm here. - Hey.
- What? - Are you gonna try to stop me?
- Nope. - Okay.
LEIGH: God!
(LEIGH WHISPERS) Careful. Be quiet. Just don't get arrested.
Okay.
To Mom.
- To Mom. - To Lily.
(♪ DON JULIAN & THE MEADOWLARKS: "HEAVEN AND PARADISE")
RENN: Anything out there?
- Nothing exciting. - Well, that's a bummer.
Tell me about it.
- Hi. - Hi.
Glass of champagne, please.
- Fancy. - I like to set a mood.
Hey, so remember when you told me
something personal and... and difficult
about why you came to Cleveland,
and then I in turn lied
and said I was here for a reunion?
- I do. - Well, I don't think I ever apologized for that.
So I just wanna say I'm... I'm really sorry.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
And I'm really sorry for the very loud
screaming match with my stepdad earlier.
That was crazy.
It's okay. It's one of the stages of grief.
- What, screaming at your stepparents? - Anger.
- Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
Considering going pro at denial.
Putting up some big numbers.
(LAUGHS)
So... are you okay?
- No. - No?
No.
But I will be.
I feel like we are two people
who should not be dating right now.
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
Good kiss. But I'm... I'm a complete mess.
So probably... You're probably right.
One hundred percent. Me too.
I mean, if I were my own therapist, I'd say,
"Girl, get up, get out of there,
and text him in, like, a year."
Yes, and I would... I would wait three days to respond to try and look cool.
Okay. As if you could wait three days to text me back.
No. I wouldn't last a day. I would respond right away.
I hope so.
Perfectly timed champagne. Thank you so much.
(CLEARS THROAT)
- To your mom. - To Lily.
Oh, shit.
We're each other's alibi. Remember that.
All right, well, I guess no reason to delay.
I'm here to apologize.
I shouldn't have locked you guys out.
I wanted to bring you a peace offering.
All right, here you go.
If there's anything else you need, just let me know.
- Give me a call or... - DARREN: Just go, Rick.
You're breaking rule number two.
What rule? Am I... Am I missing something?
- Don't worry about it. - Okay. Bye.
- Bye, Rick. - Bye.
That's definitely not all of her stuff.
No.
- We'll take what we can get. - Yeah. Good for Rick.
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
Henry David Thoreau. The woods guy."
(PHONE RINGS)
KEVIN: Renn, hey.
RENN: I'm sticking with my decision, Kevin. I'm gonna keep writing.
KEVIN: What are you gonna do for work?
RENN: I don't know, but I'll figure it out.
KEVIN: Well, good luck.
We'll miss you. - RENN: Thanks.
- Right. - Right. Bye.
Text me when you get in. Okay? And answer your fucking phone.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Let's take the long way. - Okay. Okay.
- Love you. - Thank you.
LILY: What have you got in your sleeve?
- Did they give that to you? - No.
No?
- You stole it? - Yeah.
Can I see it?
You know, it's not such a great idea to steal things.
- Okay. - So let's not do that again.
But just this once, it's yours.
- Okay. - Just this once.
- Ready to go? - Yeah.
Okay.
(ENGINE STARTS)
All right. Let's boogie. - ♪ I have to say the things I feel ♪
♪ Oh, I have to feel the things I say ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ You must fight to survive ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ You must feel to be alive ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ See the sun rising in the east ♪
♪ Welcome warm days ♪
♪ I feel my heart flying ♪
♪ Every time we're alone, babe ♪
♪ Everything around me has been changing so ♪
♪ I can't let go ♪
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ You must fight to survive ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ You must feel to be alive ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ Feel the earth trembling ♪
♪ Have you heard distant thunder? ♪
♪ Everything's moving ♪
♪ What's this feeling I'm under? ♪
♪ Everything around me has been changing so ♪
♪ I can't let go ♪
♪ Oh, no, no ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ You must fight to survive ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
♪ You must feel to be alive ♪
♪ You must live till you die ♪
(♪ ROONEY: "SAY GOODBYE")
♪ An image from the world ♪
♪ A picture from the past ♪
♪ I could have captured every moment ♪
♪ It seems it could have last ♪
♪ I can't bring myself to look at you ♪
♪ I look away I look away from the person ♪
♪ I wish I never knew, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ There's nothing for me here ♪
♪ There's no one for me now ♪
♪ I'm just wandering around ♪
♪ Like a ghost in my home town ♪
♪ Shattered into pieces ♪
♪ Making peace with all the reasons ♪
♪ Couldn't be there for you ♪
♪ Even when you needed me to see it ♪
♪ To see you ♪
♪ So I'll try to say goodbye ♪
♪ And I've one chance, just one chance ♪
♪ To say it the way I want ♪
♪ Don't let it go ♪
♪ So I'll try to say goodbye ♪
♪ And I just get just one chance ♪
♪ To say it the way I need to ♪
♪ When I look at you ♪
♪ It's just enough ♪
♪ Where'd you go? ♪
♪ I keep on trying to say goodbye ♪
兒子,我說了對不起
對不起,雷恩
天啊,你要一直這樣不跟我說話嗎?
眞的嗎?老天啊
- 這眞讓人難過 - 你拋下了我
我知道,但我以為你在我旁邊
- 我沒有啊 - 我知道
- 我當時在店裡 - 我知道
有個老太太一直問我是不是迷路了 我說沒有
但她還是不停地問 而且她還有口臭
糟透了吧?
嘿,雷恩
我很抱歉 再也不會發生這種事了
- 你保證? - 我們打勾勾
我再也不會把你丟在商店裡了
- 你永遠不會離開我? - 我永遠不會離開你
- 絕對不會? - 絕對不會
好的
我永遠不會離開你
我保證
雷恩,她走了
《好半》
我是戴維斯,對
好的,前往克利夫蘭 祝您旅途愉快
- 好的 - 下一位
嘿,還是我
我想在你登機前聯絡你
這裡發生了很多事 所以我眞的需要你的幫忙
嘿,雷恩,我是凱文 我是這麼想的
我想提拔你當主管
這對你來說很棒 花幾天時間好好考慮
我會再打電話給你,好嗎?
嘿,兒子,我是爸爸
我在追蹤你的航班 如果你改變主意
我可以去機場接你 很高興你回來了
有什麼發現嗎?
- 什麼? - 有什麼發現嗎?
- 沒有 - 眞遺憾
我還希望有外星人 機器人或外星機器人
明白我的意思嗎?
嗯,我人在這 很開心沒有看到這些東西
你希望這次飛行旅程會很安靜
而我,害怕坐飛機的人
眞的希望這一切 變成麥可貝的電影
- 麥可貝的什麼電影? -《空中監獄》
我不認為那部電影是他導演的
好吧 但那還是一部很棒的電影,所以...
《空中監獄》是部好電影?
九零年代的每部動作片都是好電影
- 好吧,你害怕坐飛機 - 是的
你認為九零年代的 每部動作片都是好電影?
- 當然 - 好吧,我覺得一切都會順利的
- 然而我對你一無所知 - 問吧
你會後悔這麼說的 我會問很多問題
好吧,你聽什麼音樂?
喜歡狗嗎?還是現在就結束談話?
你是做什麼的? 克里夫蘭是你的最終目的地嗎?
你是那裡的人嗎? 你叫什麼名字?
如果我能全部記住的話 我會按順序回答問題
喜歡悲傷的英國流行樂,當然喜歡狗 我覺得牠們比人類更好
我是名作家 土生土長的克里夫蘭人
我叫雷恩
輪到你了
- 我不是克里夫蘭人 - 好吧
我去那裡參加一個工作會議 我叫佐伊
我看到你正在欣賞 我們克利夫蘭的好天氣
- 是的,天氣糟透了 - 是啊
是啊
- 是你女朋友? - 不,是我姐
回家探望家人?
是的,算是吧...
- 好吧 - ...其實不是
你說得太含糊了
我想問你超多問題,但是...
我的車來了,所以...
是啊,你才來這裡
如果你需要餐廳推薦 也許我能幫忙
- 你想...其實也未必需要 - 不,把你的手機給我
- 好的 - 是的
- 我從來不知道該怎麼問 - 不,你很會問
- 好吧 - 好的
- 很好 - 再見
再見
可以繞遠路嗎?
- 什麼? - 可以繞遠路去我的地方?
- 如果你不介意的話 - 你的要求眞奇怪
會有點貴,不過當然可以
- 請給我五星級好評 - 謝謝
- 什麼? - 把你的手伸出來
- 媽,你偷咖啡湯匙了嗎? - 什麼湯匙?
你向服務生要的咖啡勺
儘管你沒有點咖啡 你偷了咖啡勺嗎?
- 喔,那個勺子 - 是的
怎麼了?
再說一次,你不能從餐廳偷咖啡勺
- 他們為此有做準備的 - 怎麼會?
- 餐廳裡有一堆備用咖啡勺 - 你在說什麼?
他們有備貨,其實你偷了咖啡勺 他們會很高興
- 他們高興嗎? - 是的
他們為什麼高興?
因為他們需要你偷 他們有太多備用的咖啡勺了
- 有太多咖啡勺? - 是的
都沒地方放了
是啊,你這麼一說的確挺合理的
你就像是咖啡勺界的羅賓漢
- 是的 - 好吧...
你有盜竊癖 我不知道該怎麼跟你說
太不可思議了
- 又偷了一堆東西 - 衹是個咖啡勺而已,別這樣
笑一笑,我媽媽是個罪犯 好了,我們走吧
(短篇小說寫作比賽)
來了,等一下
- 嘿 - 嘿,我沒聽到你回來了
不,我剛到,坐車坐了好久
我本來可以來接你的
- 你可能很忙,而且... - 爸爸要去接你
莉,我很好,好嗎?我到了
- 所以... - 好吧
- 你還好嗎? - 怎麼了?
你還好嗎?
我沒事
- 好吧,你先安頓一下 - 好的
- 我就... - 好的
我在想 我們明天或許應該九點出發
因為有很多事情要做 所以九點出發吧
- 沒問題,就九點 - 好的
- 很高興你回來了 - 很高興見到你
我在說什麼?
裡面沒有 找酒?好酒?我放到別的地方了
我本來可以去機場接你的
- 我知道 - 你喜歡繞遠路
你最近怎麼樣?
我很好
- 你還好嗎? - 我還好嗎?
爸,你跟她當了十五年的夫妻
別擔心我好嗎? 說說你吧,工作怎麼樣?
你的公寓還不錯嗎?
這很...還不錯,爸,到底怎麼了?
什麼?
我覺得我辜負了你
- 什麼意思? - 我...我讓你失望了
- 你沒有 - 我覺得我有
我覺得我應該要安慰你,好好談談
- 比如說呢? - 我不知道
引用梭羅的話之類的
我都不知道是不是該說他的話
- 那個住在樹林裡的傢伙? - 對,他去了池塘
- 為什麼要引用他的話? - 因為我們就是這麼做的
當我們無法表達想法時
我們就借用別人說過的話
我不需要一句關於樹的名言 來度過難關,爸
我很好,你也沒事 莉還是莉,我們都很好
不,我們不好,明白嗎? 說眞的,我們糟透了
看看我們現在的樣子 我們在這完美的父子關係中
在廚房餐桌旁,天黑後喝酒
我實在想不出該說什麼 才不會讓人覺得
我是在用網路蒐尋如何安慰他人
- 你有用網路蒐尋? - 有呀
- 抱歉,它給了什麼結果? - 說我搞砸了
你沒有搞砸,明白嗎?你就在這
你買了我最喜歡的酒
- 你在網路上蒐尋了關於... - 如何安慰他人
如何安慰他人,看吧?你做得很好
- 很好? - 是的
- 不錯 - 是的
也就是很糟糕
不是的,因為如果...你眞的做得很好 事情反而變得很奇怪
我會...這樣說更好 你不是這方面的專家
謝謝
- 為了讓我感覺更好一些 - 當然,我就是為此而來的
好吧
是的,好極了
- 好的 - 晚安
- 嫑熬夜 - 不會的,我累壞了
我得說我們之間沒有 那位口臭的噁心朋友
- 感覺還有點奇怪 - 天啊,我還挺想他的
我想他,是啊,非常想他 但我們還在這裡
- 你看起來很漂亮 - 我也想看起來漂亮一點
飛機上的我看起來沒那麼漂亮
- 你要點什麼? - 香檳,謝謝
- 不錯啊 - 我喜歡營造氣氛
給她香檳,我要一杯 龍舌蘭蘇打水加青檸,謝謝
- 你就想說這些? - 你想讓我說什麼?
- 我的意思是這是克利夫蘭... - 怎麼會?我不知道,你知道嗎?
我可不止於此
你會讓我把話套出來的
- 你比我的病人還糟糕 - 病人?
你是醫生?
- 心理醫生 - 不是吧
這糟了,我現在得走了 但我們玩得很開心
- 得了吧 - 怎麼?我們玩了兩個小時
你現在才告訴我你是個心理醫生?
- 你眞想讓我回答這個問題? - 不,其實不想
所以你住的地方
- 沒有心理醫生會議? - 當然有
那為什麼來克里夫蘭?
為什麼還是問我的問題? 我問了你一個問題
在克里夫蘭長大是什麼感覺?
好吧,我回答過這個問題 不過我再說一次好了
你在某人的地下室消磨時間 在某人的地下室親熱
你知道,有很多與地下室有關的活動
和家人在一起
很朋友一起共度時光 就是這樣,輪到你了
我是來參加心理治療會議的
- 所以... - 是的,但是...
但我也要離婚
我不知道人們會來克里夫蘭離婚
他們不會 但如果前夫要搬出去時
會來克利夫蘭
需要遠離那個傷心地,換個心情
如果你不介意我問的話 婚姻走向墳墓的原因是什麼?
我會說是他不忠
但我認為這就好比說疤面煞星 是從窗臺上掉下來摔死的
而不是被成千上萬顆子彈擊中死的 明白嗎?
- 這個《疤面煞星》的引用還眞讚 - 謝謝誇獎
很遺憾你經歷這些
我還好
那麼你呢?
我記得你說過你來這裡
是要花點時間和你姐姐在一起 所以你為什麼要回家?
- 家人重聚 - 眞不錯
是啊
好吧,為你多陪家人而乾杯
- 乾杯 - 乾杯
- 我玩得很開心 - 我也是,謝謝
再來一杯?
- 好的 - 好的
航程還好吧?
還不錯
你吃飯了嗎?
沒有
好吧,如果你餓的話 可以在那裡吃飯
在餐廳裡?
是的,餐廳當然會有食物
我衹是說 也許你想知道是否有吃的
不,我不餓,誰會來?
- 媽媽、莉、我、你,還有瑞克 - 瑞克?
- 要見瑞克,你很開心? - 是啊,我都等不及了
- 幸福的大家庭 - 不管幸福與否,這就是個大家庭
你媽媽現在需要我們
- 還需要有奇蹟 - 說不定會發生奇蹟
是的,我看過研究報告
- 好吧,萬一你錯了 - 實例研究,我是說,爸,得了吧
萬一你錯了呢? 積極點有什麼錯?
你是說要假裝嗎?
裝樣子?爸,得了吧
我並不是說前面的路會一帆風順
我不是說要假裝或裝樣子
我是說,我認為你不該打算失去她
因為...
我想你會錯過很多美好的回憶
是啊
- 惠蘭? - 其實是巴羅納
- 嘿 - 嘿
- 很高興見到你 - 很高興見到你
- 你看起來不錯 - 你也是
- 坐吧 - 這地方不錯
- 是啊 - 希望東西也好吃
- 我不知道 - 可能會不錯
好吧,在我們開始之前 我有兩個規矩,好嗎?
第一就是不能哭
好嗎?如果有人想哭 就去洗手間
第二,別把事情搞得太複雜
我知道瑞克已經在路上了 達倫來了
這是我們第一次聚在一起
- 我不想搞得太尷尬 - 好吧
我認為你違反了第二條規矩
- 你點了什麼? - 龍舌蘭酒
- 這是餐廳特製的 - 能給我一杯嗎?
謝謝媽媽
- 應該點一瓶的 - 是的
航程還好吧?
還不錯,就是有點長
起飛大約兩分鐘後
坐在我旁邊的人決定脫鞋
- 什麼? - 不是吧
- 他還脫了襪子 - 不會吧
飛到一半的時候,他拿出一袋煮雞蛋
- 開始剝蛋 - 不是吧
- 誰會帶著雞蛋旅行? - 我對天發誓,是眞的
嘿,兒子,見到你眞高興
我也是
非常感謝你今天陪我一起去
- 你眞的很貼心 - 不客氣
- 嘿 - 嘿
- 好吧
- 我想我們... - 嘿
- 抱歉,路上堵得厲害
- 沒事的 - 今天忙翻了
我在吧檯接了個電話
- 沒事 - 你們說什麼了?
沒什麼,我衹是告訴莉我很感激
她和我一起去了診所
- 我說“不客氣” - 是啊,謝謝,對不起,我沒能去
沒事了,好,乾杯
謝謝大家今晚前來
我想說,我非常感激 你們能和我在一起
我知道接下來的幾個月會非常艱難
我違反了第一條規矩
- 什麼? - 我太笨了
什麼規矩? 她有定什麼規矩嗎?
無所謂了
祝你生日快樂
祝你生日快樂,祝你生日快樂
說吧
首先我們去醫院拿她的東西
然後去殯儀館去見瑞克
- 然後去見牧師 - 見誰?
牧師
- 牧師? - 牧師
- 眞的牧師? - 是的
- 她是猶太人 - 瑞克說她想要有牧師
- 牧師? - 是的
- 出現在她的葬禮上? - 是的
- 即使她眞的是猶太人 - 你已經說過了
- 眞是不可思議 - 我不知道,他是這麼說的
我們的猶太母親 想讓牧師參加她的葬禮?
我在地球上生活了廿八年 我從來沒聽她說過
“我死後一定要找個牧師
- 在我的葬禮上致悼詞” - 我不知道,瑞克說了算
- 為什麼?我們才是她的孩子 - 因為是他付錢
天啊,這麼說簡直不可思議
- 為什麼? - 因為這不像是
“我請客吃飯,所以我說了算
所以我們要去澳美客牛排館” 這是她的葬禮
- 好了,煎餅來了 - 搞什麼鬼?
我們的培根特別香脆
甜瓜和一些優格,都齊了嗎?
- 謝謝 - 太好了
好吧
- 牧師之後是什麼? - 然後我們去媽媽家
- 給她拿衣服... - 棺材用的衣服?
- 儘管她想火化 - 你不知道她是怎麼想的
- 她討厭這裡 - 她不討厭這裡
莉,她討厭這裡
我的意思是,也許她喜歡的是 ”我在這出生長大,這就是我的家
所以這裡就是家” 但她討厭這裡
現在她將被永遠埋葬 在克里夫蘭冰冷的土地裡
如果你在過去幾天裡 有回覆我打給你的無數通電話
或是無數條簡訊
也許你就可以提意見了
隨便吧
讓我們為這豐収祈禱 感謝祢賜給我們食物,阿門
好吧
牧師會做得更好
- 能幫我嗎? - 好的,抱歉
俄亥俄州立大學有一種治療方法 結果看起來很有希望
- 你是怎麼知道的? - 上面寫著呢
是的,但他們都會說結果很好
我是說...他們... 我們怎麼知道這是個好選擇?
安德森醫院就有一個
也許我可以打電話請麗莎幫忙
(禮品店)
她很喜歡那個
- 每晚都和它睡在一起 - 是啊
- 你一定就是雷恩了 - 是的,你好
- 很高興終於見到你了 - 你好
- 親愛的,我眞的很難過 - 謝謝
雷恩,你見過金嗎? 她把媽媽照顧得很好
她總是會偷偷給她多一份甜點
我很榮幸能認識你們的母親
好吧,跟我來吧 我已經把她的遺物都収拾好了
謝謝你照顧她
- 媽媽,你不能永遠待在裡面 - 我可以的
好吧,如果我們進去呢?
雷恩,那我和出來沒有什麼差別
- 我放棄了 - 媽媽,這衹是暫時的,好嗎?
- 頭髮會長回來的,別緊張 - 好吧
不如你拍張照片,然後傳簡訊給我們
這樣我們就看不見你了 你也看不見我們
好吧,我可以做到的 我衹是需要一些時間
我們能停下來嗎?
莉?莉,我們能停下來嗎?
- 不,我們還有事要做 - 就停一會兒
- 約翰怎麼樣? - 他很好
他什麼時候來?
我不知道,他正在想辦法
什麼意思?
他要處理一些工作上的事情
他有時間就會來
好吧,你生我氣了嗎?
沒有
- 你確定? - 確定
我眞的覺得你好像在生我的氣
為什麼你突然在乎我的感受了?
我們還是談點別的吧
好吧,約翰怎麼樣?
在喜劇界我們稱之為回顧
我也不想談喜劇
等等,我們可以談談日程安排嗎?
- 怎麼了? - 我們需要改動一下
- 為什麼? - 我要買條領帶
- 你沒帶領帶? - 我沒有領帶
- 你沒有領帶? - 不是黑色的
- 我可不能穿去參加葬禮 - 好吧
為什麼這麼惱火?
你待會兒可以借我的車,沒關係的
謝謝
現在能借我嗎?
這地方太壓抑了 我衹想開車撞牆
- 靠,我看見了 - 什麼?
- 你笑了 - 我沒有
我才剛來到地球上嗎?
- 是的,你笑了 - 衹是微微一笑
- 但你還是笑了 - 是的,我笑了
(舒克殯儀館停車場)
好吧,我去找瑞克,別說...
好的,你去找他吧 我就留在這個傷心鎮裡
(失去摯愛並不意味著失去自我)
(每個生命都値得慶祝)
- 跟他離婚? - 你必須做點什麼,媽媽
- 我不能跟瑞克離婚,反正現在不行 - 為什麼不能?
- 因為我... - 所以你要撐下去?
- 這太糟糕了 - 好吧,寶貝,還有什麼辦法呢?
我將是一位離過兩次婚 住在克里夫蘭的五十六歲女士
這是我說過最悲傷的話
是啊,唯一可悲的是
你住在克利夫蘭 我是說你得離開這裡
去巴黎,去阿拉斯加,去羅馬
- 羅馬? - 是的,你應該去別的地方
- 我的天啊 - 任何其他地方
像電影《享受吧!一個人的旅行》一樣 不過就別祈禱了
是啊,還有要去掉眞愛 因為這不可能
- 那麼還有什麼呢?我們有... - 還有享受美食
- 享受美食 - 聽起來不錯
是啊,但說眞的 媽媽,你該離開這裡
- 我不能,我有工作 - 那就辭職
不,我不能辭職 因為我有房子要養
然後我還有車 我在這裡有自己的生活
我不能...我不能去 雖然我很想去
- 但我不能... - 那我就回家
我陪你走完離婚程序
- 我們一起完成這段離婚程序 - 你要經歷兩次離婚?
然後我們就能幫你找個好人 眞正能和你共度美好時光的人
就像這個人,他看起來很棒
他活得很精彩,知道嗎?
可能正在籌劃自己的活動
我們肯定有很多選擇
- 他很帥 - 是啊
他看起來也已經名草有主了
瑞克不是壞人 我告訴你,他不是壞人,他很有趣
當然,不過說眞的,我可以回家
- 幫你... - 不,你別回來
不,你過自己的生活
你必須繼續寫作,你是個很棒的作家
答應我,你會繼續寫作,答應我
眞的嗎?
- 保證? - 我保證
- 絕對保證? - 絕對保證
雷恩
下樓
(慰問室)
我們來這做什麼?
來慰問室幹什麼?
殯儀館的人正在擺放棺材
我不知道,我們在等他
- 擺放棺材? - 是的
- 就像棺材展覽嗎? - 是的
就像個棺材陳列室?
你還要問多少個問題,雷恩?
- 有幾個棺材? - 三個
三個在我預算範圍內的棺材
- 你有棺材預算? - 有
也許他們有經過認證的二手棺材
就像新的一樣,不過能便宜一點
好吧,雷恩 你想要幫忙增加預算嗎?
也許可以用你囤積的作家稿費?
- 這招數可眞夠卑鄙的 - 好了,夠了,你們兩個
這時候別吵架 瑞克,那個殯儀館的人是誰?
我不知道,就是個怪人 經營這個地方
- 不,我是說他叫什麼名字? - 鮑伯
- 嗨,我是比爾 - 很高興見到你
- 你叫什麼來著? - 比爾
比爾,沒錯,很高興見到你,比爾
失陪一下
唐納蘭夫人 你的家人會喜歡你在那裡面安息的
那可是你永遠的家
好吧,看看我給你們準備的棺材
這裡有一些不錯的選擇
右邊的那個,比爾
我們能在上面寫點什麼嗎? 例如客製化的資訊?
還是衹有“安息”這標準術語?
不,你可以依照自己的喜好 想怎麼做都行
可以寫姓名、日期
- 也許是最喜歡的一句話 - 最喜歡的一句話
- 沒錯 - 一生衹能活一次
雷恩
她會覺得這很有趣,想想吧
- 那是她名字的縮寫嗎? - 別聽他的
- 左邊這個很有意思 - 這個很受歡迎
我明白為什麼,比爾
我喜歡棺材上有火焰的創意
你知道這確實會向你愛的人 傳達一個明確的訊息
- 你認為他們會走向何方 - 雷恩
是啊,當然,那你想選那個嗎?
- 不,別聽他的 - 對,別理我
- 我選中間那個 - 我同意
- 你聽見了吧? - 好了,我們走吧?
你瘋了嗎?我想提拔你當工資主管
- 我知道 - 這對你來說眞的很棒
其他人也想要這個職位,比如加里
他眞的很想要這個職位 你可以在這裡賺很多錢
你是我們要找的薪資主管
我們可以為你保留這個職位,想想吧
- 我會打電話給你的 - 好的,謝謝
(凱文,工作電話)
- 一切都還好嗎? - 是的,一切正常
日程安排得很好
從殯儀館一路來到“死亡搖籃”
在裡面註意自己的舉止 他是個牧師
是的,很明顯,有個惡魔跟著他 搬到這裡來住了
前院那是安娜貝爾娃娃嗎?
- 不是安娜貝爾娃娃 - 它就是,你看
- 不是 - 這是個安娜貝爾娃娃
- 也許他有姪女 - 她們把娃娃留在這裡了?
也許他不知道她們把它留在這了
我想他應該是個有眼睛的人吧
也許他在與 跟蹤他回家的惡魔戰鬥時
失去了雙眼
我的媽呀
- 謝謝 - 先是微笑,現在又講笑話
一個小時前還不想談喜劇的人
- 現在變化這麼大 - 別不習慣
你在改變,我看得出來 看,來得眞是時候
米亞塔車
擋住了人行道
我要打電話給警察,給他開罰單
- 你買了菓汁? - 冰沙菓汁
- 什麼是冰沙菓汁? - 就是冰沙菓汁,我在節食
你看起來棒極了
- 瑞克,嘿 - 丹神父
你們一定是雷恩和莉了,幸會
請節哀順變,我正在上課
不過請進去吧,歡迎前來
好的,亞當,繼續練習,你很棒
莎倫,他彈得很好,聽起來棒極了
他太厲害了
我很高興你們終於能見到丹神父
- 終於? - 終於
在這段艱難的時期,丹神父一直
在不停地給予我們幫助
眞的,他一直給我們精神支持 無論情況有多糟
從未讓我們失望
因此,在人生最後時刻 他在我們身邊,對我們而言意義重大
謝謝你,瑞克 很感謝你這麼說
知道你認識我母親,我倍感欣慰
我以為你不認識她
他不認識她,他從未見過她 他更像是我的精神指引者
你們也可以幫忙
我已經告訴他很多你們媽媽的事
她喜歡什麼,她喜歡的食物等等
他現在要和你們單獨談談
収集更多訊息
然後再匯總我提供的訊息
我們就可以寫悼詞了
就好像“拼接”悼詞一樣
你想搞笑一點 但的確就像“拼接”悼詞一樣
我還有些事要辦,所以我要走了
交接完成
好的
- 好的,謝謝,瑞克 - 謝謝
- 再見,瑞克 - 好的
對不起,我沒有打掃 我今天眞的沒時間
他現在彈得好多了 他兩個月前彈得還不行
但是他現在彈得很不錯
- 是啊 - 是啊,他彈得眞的很不錯
- 非常好 - 謝謝,誰先來?
- 雷恩? - 對不起,你能重複問題嗎?
- 你還好嗎? - 我很好
流程是什麼樣的?
你問我一系列問題 問我過得怎麼樣?
還是我一直胡言亂語?
好吧,在我開始之前,我總是喜歡問
對方是否願意
- 自己致悼詞 - 不願意
我明白,這...
- 沒有那麼容易 - 是啊
但我還是想問 在開始之前確保萬無一失
好的
謝謝,不過我的答案仍然是“不”
好的
也許你應該先跟我說說她的事
跟我說說莉莉凱瑟琳
莉莉凱瑟琳
我很好奇瑞克說了什麼? 他是怎麼跟你說我媽的?
我不想談到你父親的想法
- 是繼父 - 繼父,對不起
繼父的想法或你姊的想法
好吧,明天的悼詞
就該像驚喜一樣?
我不知道我是否會這麼說
但我覺得讓當事人自己
去想他們的親人會有所幫助
你可以用各種方式想念他們 但嫑被其他人影響
跟我說說她,雷恩 她的嗜好有什麼?
她最喜歡的電影是? 最珍惜的回憶是什麼?
我不知道 我現在想不起來了
提到她,你首先想到的是什麼?
- 她會討厭這些事的 - 什麼事情?
大家坐在這裡 與瑞克的精神指引者
談論她的人生後事,不是針對你
為什麼她會討厭這些?
因為她討厭別人談論她
這就是為什麼她沒有告訴任何人 她所經歷的一切
她把一切都藏在心裡,沒人能知道
- 我明白了 - 她討厭聽到別人的意見
聽到某個阿姨或叔叔吃了個神奇藥丸 戰勝了病魔
也許我們該從這裡說起
而不是她的愛好和食物
說一些無關緊要的爛東西,抱歉 說什麼她喜歡的東西
因為誰他媽的在乎呢?再次抱歉
但告訴你她討厭什麼?
給我找一個跟她一樣討厭在商場
偶遇某人的人
我覺得這更能說明 我媽媽是什麼樣的人
所有她討厭的東西 例如討厭的人和流言蜚語
還有這個,她會討厭這一切的
- 你做了什麼? - 什麼?
- 你拿了什麼?
天啊,我什麼都沒做 我衹是拿了個杯子,好嗎?
你拿了...天啊 你又拿了個杯子
莉,冷靜點好嗎? 大家在餐廳裡常常這樣做
所以他們才拿出備用的啊 他們有備用的杯子,所以沒事的
- 是的 - 才沒有,別胡思亂想了
- 你拿了茶托? - 拿了,還有咖啡勺
你把整套茶具都拿來了?
要拿就拿一整套啊
- 沒錯 - 你們會被捕的
得了吧
- 我不會保釋你們出來的 - 得了吧
你幹嘛對此小題大作?
因為你今天沒認眞對待任何事
你今天一直心不在焉的
- 這讓我很生氣 - 我今天沒有心不在焉
你心不在焉,你就是在走過場
- 就好像你魂不附體 - 我在這裡,好嗎?
你能不能讓我有自己的情緒反應 然後自己想辦法?
但你沒有想辦法,你衹是在開玩笑
- 你什麼都感覺不到 - 但這個...誰在乎呢?
- 這...這簡直是胡扯 - 這不是胡扯,雷恩
- 她最喜歡的食物? - 不,是因為它發生了
這件事就是發生了 我們害怕的這一天
這一天終於來了
她已經走了,所以不會再有病痛
你不能忽略這件事
- 我沒有忽略任何事情 - 她不在了
- 聽到我說的話了嗎? - 是的,我聽到了
- 她走了 - 我聽到了
- 好吧,那至少有點情緒反應,好嗎? - 我有反應
我在大喊大叫,不是嗎? 這是一種反應
你看不到不代表我沒做
雷恩,我很了解你
你一直都是這樣
從未改變,你一直忽略自己的問題
你不想有任何感覺,不想談論它
- 我知道了 - 好吧,那就問問題啊
問什麼?
沒有媽媽,你要怎麼生活?
你打算如何繼續生活?
你可能不知道如何回答這些問題
- 但你要開始問這些問題 - 嫑
好吧,那我們之後又會回來
六個月後,一年後 我們會回來
重複著同樣的話題
當我打電話給你時 你還是不會接我電話
那可未必
- 就這樣吧 - 就這樣吧
我要去她的衣櫃看看 有什麼可以在明天葬禮上能用的東西
我不想在這裡待太久
我們明天再來拿其他的東西
(雷恩及莉一起去假髮店)
嘿,兒子,在幹嘛?
莉?
你迷路了嗎?請問你迷路了嗎?
- 什麼? - 你迷路了嗎?
- 對不起,我需要買一條領帶 - 男士服飾店就在上面
哦,該死
你需要什麼嗎?
- 雷恩 - 該死
- 嘿,夥計 - 嘿
最近怎麼樣?洛杉磯怎麼樣? 寫作的事怎麼了?
- 跟我說說 - 很好,洛杉磯很好
你最近在寫作嗎?我可以看看嗎?
不,還沒有
衹是開了很多會之類的...
靠,我肯定將來一定會很棒的
這需要...你知道我表弟去了洛杉磯
他去那裡演戲 他眞是個怪模怪樣的傢伙
他吃驚的表情
就像背後被人一擊
他的表情就一直那樣
- 眞遺憾啊 - 是啊
我覺得他好像剛剛接了一個洗衣粉廣告
你在問我嗎?我不認識他
是的,是洗衣粉廣告
總之,這傢伙衹工作一天 就賺了兩萬塊
一天就賺了兩萬塊?
我聽過廣告的錢很好賺
是的,眞是不可思議 你應該去拍廣告
是的,感覺比較像是宣傳廣告 但是我會考慮的
是的,考慮一下吧
那你還好嗎?
我聽到消息了,我聽說你媽媽的事了
是啊
- 你還好嗎? - 我沒事
說眞的,我記得你母親
- 她人很好 - 謝謝
我記得她以前放學接你時
- 總是晚到 - 是的
對不起現在想這個
- 可能不太好 - 不,挺好的
我還記得我媽媽有一天
她來接我的時候晚了
因為我爸剛被解僱 他提前回家
然後他跟我媽大吵了一架
她衝了出去
我猜是因為她太生氣了,忘了來接我
然後我記得你媽媽走過來
對我說 “嘿,安迪,我在等你
快上車 我們一起聽音樂,很有意思的”
然後我就跟你一起上了車 然後她放了...
- 保羅西蒙的音樂 - 是的
她喜歡保羅西蒙
然後就... 就我們三個,知道嗎?
我、你和你媽媽坐在車裡
聽著保羅西蒙的歌 然後我媽來接我了
然後她帶我回家
之後他倆又開始吵起來了
他們整晚都在吵架 我不想再聽到他們吵架
所以我溜下樓 翻找他們的音樂収藏光碟
我找到了同一張光碟
然後我回到自己的小臥室
戴上耳機
之後一整個晚上 我都沒有聽到他們的吵架聲
- 是啊 - 是你媽媽幫了我
她人眞的很好
- 謝謝 - 我很遺憾,夥計
- 是的 - 很高興見到你
(現在去喝酒會太早嗎?)
謝謝,克利夫蘭!
- 唱得眞棒 - 我馬上回來
好的
- 嘿 - 不客氣
你說得對,我後悔來這裡見你了
- 所以我要... - 不,太遲了
現在你必須來見見我的朋友們
- 不能走,過來 - 好吧
- 各位,這是雷恩 - 是雷恩啊
- 嘿 - 嘿
- 我是山姆
- 你好,我是帕克,很高興認識你 - 很認識見到你
你太棒了,唱得太好了
太棒了,絕對會成為 當晚卡拉OK最佳演唱者
我今晚的目標 就是讓你站上那個舞臺
不,我要喝九百杯才敢上去
- 所以我不會上去的 - 我馬上回來
- 好的 - 天啊
你是怎麼認識佐伊的?
我們在飛機上遇到了 正在戰鬥的外星機器人
- 好吧,所以你是她的病人之一? - 是的
你們怎麼認識她的? 之前就認識還是...
- 不 - 我們今早開會時
- 才認識的 - 是的,但我們已經喜歡上她了
- 是啊,誰不會呢? - 是啊
- 你們剛才是在說我嗎? - 是的,但都是好話
- 好吧,繼續 - 哦,天啊
好的,為參與其中乾杯
- 敬可愛的小鎮,克里夫蘭 - 敬克里夫蘭
還有參與其中
- 敬克里夫蘭 - 那是什麼,酒嗎?
- 太上頭了 - 很不錯
是誰點的?
- 雷恩,眞是太棒了 - 謝謝,非常感謝
- 好的 - 好的
- 小心,小心 - 乾杯
- 我要出去一下 - 沒問題
克利夫蘭!
- 嘿 - 我最愛的憂鬱男怎麼了?
他就快在小腿上
就在上儀表盤自白樂團的圖案了
我猜你的家庭團聚時光 有點讓人承受不住
- 可以這麼說 - 你們今天都做了什麼?
我們今天做了什麼? 去了殯儀館和醫院
見了一位牧師,侮辱了牧師
我和姐姐吵了一架 她在衣櫃裡崩潰了
我買了條領帶,現在來了這裡
我覺得你聽了這些之後 想要問的問題就不衹四個了
不,衹有一個問題
你為什麼回家?
問得好
我媽媽去世了
- 天啊 - 是的
雷恩,我很抱歉
謝謝
為什麼沒告訴我?
我不知道
我認為如果我不把這件事說出來
我母親就還活著
- 我明白 - 但她的確不在了
她走了,葬禮就在明天舉行
天哪,說出來的感覺太奇怪了
我明天要去參加媽媽的葬禮
我很遺憾
我沒事的
眞的嗎?是我的話就會有事
是的,我其實很不好
我... 我不知道我為什麼一直這麼說
感覺一切都不眞實
而且...我不知道該怎麼辦
所以我...我一直忽略它 逃避它,而且...
我擔心我會一直這樣下去
我知道這種感覺
但最終...
可能會很慢很慢,但最終...
你可以面對這件事 繼續你的人生
我不知道該如何解釋
但我感覺我的生活被劈成了兩半
有好的那一半 在這一切出現之前
在她生病之前 然後是糟糕的一半
我不是在說你
但我不想面對我的另一半人生
我衹想回到她戴手套前
因為她的手太乾裂了 回到幫她挑假髮前
或是回到去哪家 救不了她的醫院前
我衹想和她回到這樣的酒吧露臺上
談天說地,開懷大笑
衹想要自己人生好的那一半
眞奇怪 就好像我有人生好的那一半
但現在感覺很遙遠
而且...
我覺得那些好時光在眼前閃過
明白嗎?但是我無法觸碰
我衹能看著它們遠去
我...
我不在其中
這眞讓人難過 我一直盯著手機看...
想著會看到她的簡訊或她的電話
就好像她會說 “嘿,兒子,我...
我在開玩笑,我一切都好”
但是...
我知道這不可能... 不可能發生
而且...
我卻接到老闆的電話 給我一份我不想做的工作
我姐姐給我打電話 說我們要做的那些事情
因為...
因為我們的媽媽走了
所以我...我一直在忽視、逃避...
把一切都搞砸了 對不起,我說太多了
不,我不認為你把一切都搞砸了
好吧,但我覺得自己做得不好
我不認為你現在能把一切做好
多謝
嘿,我明天能來嗎?
- 來參加我媽媽的葬禮? - 感覺是有點奇怪,但...
- 是有點奇怪 - 但是我...
我不知道,我衹想陪在你身邊
我很樂意
- 很好 - 很好
我想我已經準備好了
準備好什麼?
不管你是什麼意思,我都很好奇
- 來吧,我們走 - 好的
來吧
我們今天聚在這裡
向莉莉凱瑟琳告別
她是老師、朋友、姊妹、妻子
還是一位母親
莉莉凱瑟琳十分樂觀 生命中充滿了歡聲笑語
她的笑聲能感染一屋子的人
她深愛的丈夫 她一生的摯愛瑞克
說她最愛的是人
事實上他說她很想看到 你們今天都在這裡
與你們交談,握住你們的手 聽聽你們的生活
她喜歡和朋友聊天
談論她最喜歡的電影 其中一部...
對不起
什麼?
我現在衹能想起她的一件事
我希望是很棒的回憶,比如...
跳傘或登山,但其實不是的
是她和我的一件小事 我們從商場開車回家
我才九歲,我很生氣
因為她把我丟在一家服飾店裡
她讓我拿著我的超人漫畫 坐在長椅上等她
等著她試穿數不清的衣服
莉知道,這是她最喜歡做的事了
她會買一些新衣服
保留標籤,然後再回來把衣服退掉
總之...
她經常那樣做
特別是那次 她看上了一件毛衣
她買下後就走了
我坐在長椅上等她回來
幾個小時後她回來了,她衝了進來
不停地道歉,但我還是很生氣
有位老太太一直問我 “你迷路了嗎?”
事實上我並沒有迷路
我就在我該待的地方
她就這樣把我丟下了
現在回想起來這件事 我衹是覺得很嫉妒
因為我希望能重回那一天
我希望我能重回坐在商店長椅上
看超人漫畫的時刻 我眞嫉妒那個九歲的小男孩
因為如果我能重回去...
那一天,也就是說...
她會回來找我
抱歉
- 嘿 - 那個故事很溫馨,雷恩
- 才沒有 - 你知道...
你的母親會為你感到驕傲的
謝謝
如果有任何需要就告訴我
好的,沒問題
- 嘿 - 嘿
謝謝你能來
謝謝你讓我來陪你
- 看來你見過我姐姐了 - 是啊,見過莉了
- 她人很好 - 我當時說:“爵士”
- 是啊 - 這就是爵士樂
- 對不起,等一下... - 沒關係
- 你剛剛說得眞好,雷恩 - 是啊,開玩笑還眞會挑時候,瑞克
每個人都會以自己的方式哀悼,雷恩
是啊,有些人顯然不會哀悼
- 你以為我不傷心嗎? - 我耳清目明,你沒傷心
- 各位,別現在吵架 - 沒事的,我們衹是在聊天
好吧,因為你很傷心
所以與我相比 她對你而言更重要吧?
是啊,所以基本上
你過去兩年都不在她身邊
- 還有之前那十年 - 雷恩
...還有她開始化療的時候
還有她睡在浴室地板上的時候
因為她沒有足夠的力氣回到床上
還有她正在服用止痛藥 而開始產生幻覺的時候
- 你還記得嗎,莉? - 好了,雷恩
眞有意思 因為她看到過往人物的幻影
然後她就會開始哭
因為她看到了過去的人
但他們卻不是眞正在那裡 你不知道這些事,因為你從來不在
所以,是的,我為你感到難過
祝你好運,揹負這一切繼續活下去吧
是嗎?你以為自己什麼都懂?
親人生病時該怎麼做 你眞的很懂嗎?
因為你到底做了什麼? 馬上回家嗎?
- 你一直陪在她身邊嗎? - 是的,我回家了
- 好吧 - 你回家了嗎?回過幾次
我常常和她見面 我每晚都和她說話
順便說一句,現在說的不是我,是你
不,和你有關
不管你有沒有意識到 她生病的時候
我是說她眞病得不輕的時候 你也不在她身邊
- 你姊姊在她身邊,你沒有 - 好吧,那你呢?
- 我在 - 眞的嗎?
和你相比,我幾乎一直在她身邊
- 好了,現在不是吵架的時候 - 沒事的
他批評我哀悼的方式
我不會因為你的逃避 和逃避寫作而批評你
- 她叫我嫑來 - 你聽進去了
一位生病的母親叫你嫑回家
你聽進去了 因為這是你想聽到的話
- 我本來要回家的 - 但你沒有
聽著,你眞的認為她不想讓你回家?
你眞的認為她不希望你在她身邊嗎?
你是她的最愛,雷恩 對不起,但這是實話
她不想讓我來,所以我沒來 她想讓你陪她,但你沒有
正因為你沒有 所以你永遠沒有機會說再見
也許這就是問題所在
- 眞遺憾 - 瑞克
祝你好運,揹負這一切活下去吧 走吧,滾
對不起,我...
- 抱歉 - 抱歉
- 非常感謝你能來 - 謝謝
小心開車
謝謝
你是怎麼做到的?
什麼?
一直那麼冷靜,還有...
你很堅強
你...
雷恩,我糟透了
- 我沒意識到 - 是啊
還以為你在衣櫃間崩潰的事情 再也不會發生
很抱歉讓你一人承擔這一切
你提到...那天媽媽把你丟在商場裡
我對那天的回憶可不一樣
- 你當時不在那裡 - 沒錯,但我想去的
我知道她把你丟在了那家店裡
你當時很害怕,我明白
但她從未帶我去過
- 對不起 - 沒關係
瑞克是個混蛋 他在很多事情上都是錯的
這些我們馬上就能說清楚 但是...
有一件事他是對的 就是媽媽最喜歡你了
我們繼承了父母的個性,你知道的
有時他想表現得更像你
有時她試圖表現得更像我
我衹能說,事實如此
這就是為什麼她帶你去冒險 而不是我
不是因為她不愛我 我知道她愛我
但是因為她在躲他,所以躲我
我沒有你跟她一起成長的回憶
但我現在有了
一個月前開始有了
和她一起坐在病房裡 看《觀點》,打牌
是的,也許不是溫馨或模糊的回憶
但這些都是我對她的回憶
都是屬於我的回憶
所以你有和她很棒的回憶 而我都是悲傷的回憶
但這些回憶比一切都珍貴
- 是的 - 你沒回家
我明白你為何會內疚
但瑞克對此的想法錯了 因為她眞的不希望你回來
她躲開你,這樣就能躲開她自己
因為如果你回家 那這一切就是眞的了
所以你可以坐著生悶氣 你可以哭泣
聽史密斯樂團的歌 或做任何你想做的事
但我不會 因為她不希望你這麼做
- 敬媽媽 - 敬媽媽
你剛看起來很可怕 你和他眞的當面對質
他的眼睛看起來都想要殺了我
- 怎麼了?又怎麼了? - 該死的瑞克
- 所以瑞克把我們鎖在門外 - 沒錯
- 還說會把我們的東西送過來 - 沒錯
- 這就是他送過來的東西? - 沒錯
- 該死的傢伙 - 就這兩個箱子和一個垃圾袋?
- 是的 - 該死的傢伙
所以瑞克可以決定我們在兩個箱子裡
- 帶走哪些童年記憶 - 還有一個垃圾袋
- 那媽媽的東西呢? - 還在房子裡
- 在我們被鎖在門外的房子裡 - 答對了
眞是個混蛋,混蛋
我眞想把他沉入海底
- 我想尖叫 - 我想揍他一頓
我們可以起訴他,但我們沒有證據
- 我在監獄裡可受不了 - 的確
該死的瑞克
好吧,我們可以做一件事
我想到一個人 她一定會為我們這樣做感到驕傲
- 不行 - 可以
不行
感覺沒人在家
如果他們有保安呢?
爸爸,他們不會有保安的
哦,該死
好吧,我衹想說 這是個史無前例的糟糕計劃
我不...我不反對
我也不贊成 我衹是想讓大家註意到這一點
註意到了,好的 讓我們按步驟來
- 好吧,如何破門而入 - 哦,天哪,對不起
繼續行動前 我衹是想說,通常情況下
家長應是理性的一方 你同意這個計劃嗎?
我是否希望 自己沒穿休閒鞋私闖民宅?
是的,但重要的是
是你倆能了結心願 實現個人成長
這才是最重要的
還有要向瑞克復仇,因為他就是個混蛋
這也包括私闖民宅
我們說這是輕微程度的私闖民宅
- 別再說私闖宅了 - 好吧,但我們說好的
是的,衹是輕微程度的私闖民宅 我們可以說一遍步驟嗎?
好吧,我不參與 我衹是...第一步是什麼?
- 我衹是對此很好奇 - 好吧,第一步:“是否有人在家?”
- 哦,天啊 - 是啊,我覺得...
- 很明顯 - ...無須言明
但這仍然很重要
- 這麼說吧,可能沒人在家 - 可能?
好吧,可能沒人 那就進行第二步
“房子裝了警報器嗎?”
我覺得他今天沒請人來裝保全系統
我們以前也沒有這類系統
所以我想說這也可能沒有
沒有,或在這種情況下可能沒有 我們跳到第四步
- 該死 - 怎麼了?
我點了個廣告 現在在播放那個廣告
- 哦,不是吧,爸爸,拜託 - 你要我怎麼做,雷恩?
誰會為提供私闖民宅建議的網站 投放廣告?
這是個電玩遊戲,其實蠻不錯的
就像有美人魚和海馬的海底世界
- 不能點擊退出嗎? - 不能
- 點選X - 不,它不讓我...
- 關小聲點,天啊 - 我要按X
- 我們要進監獄了 - 聽著,會沒事的
結束了,別說了,我要回到第四步
-“找一扇打開的窗” - 一扇打開的窗戶
- 打開的窗戶?走吧 - 不...
- 看看有沒有 - 別那麼用力關門
- 我們應該排練一下 - 排練?
我不知道,感覺這太魯莽了
好吧
- 另一邊 - 哇
肯定不會被發現...
天啊,他在哪裡? 已經過了一個小時了
- 才沒有 - 他回來了
天啊,這不是...
好吧,太糟糕了,沒有打開的窗戶 我們走吧,好嗎?
- 廚房的窗戶開著 - 水槽上面那個窗戶?
- 是的,第五步是什麼? - 第五步:“從窗戶進去”
然後呢?
- 偷東西 - 沒有其他步驟了嗎?
就是私闖民宅的文章
我是說,進去後要怎麼做 可能還要看另一篇文章
- 天啊 - 我們應該用網路蒐尋一下
- 算了 - 好吧,所以就是闖進去後
偷東西
不,你不能進去偷東西
如果你偷東西,他就會註意到
他就會報警,然後我們都會被逮捕
- 天啊 - 你可以進去偷某些物品
但不能偷東西,知道嗎?
如果我要這麼做 如果我們都要這麼做
我們就必須說明白
- 好吧,我們很明白 - 好的
- 嫑偷很多,就幾個東西 - 不,不是東西,是物品
你要一直糾結字眼,卻不行動嗎?
- 感覺像在拖延時間? - 沒有
- 感覺像是在拖延時間 - 沒錯,我是在拖延時間
我就是在拖延 我是家長,要有理性
聽著,感覺這麼做是不對的 我們都知道這是不對的,好嗎?
我也許應該說點什麼阻止你這麼做
我...我腦子裡一片空白,所以...
所以我們要繼續?
- 好吧 - 好的
數到三,我們去偷物品
- 數到三,我們去偷物品 - 一、二、三
- 物品 - 偷物品
物品
- 你在幹什麼?莉 - 我也要去
嫑
這對他們有好處
天啊
- 好吧,我來了 - 嘿
- 什麼? - 你要阻止我嗎?
- 沒有 - 好吧
天啊
小心點,安靜點,別被抓走了
- 好的 - 好嗎?我要回到車上了
好的
敬媽媽
- 敬媽媽 - 敬媽媽
有什麼發現嗎?
- 沒什麼有趣的東西 - 好吧,眞掃興
的確如此
- 嘿 - 嘿
請給我一杯香檳
- 很不錯嘛 - 我喜歡營造氣氛
還記得你告訴我一些私事
以及你來克利夫蘭的原因
但我騙了你 說我是來與家人重逢的?
我記得
我還未為此道歉
所以我衹想說...我眞的很抱歉
- 謝謝 - 就是這樣
非常抱歉剛才和我繼父
大吵大鬧,剛才的事情有點太過了
沒關係,這是哀悼的一個階段
- 對繼父繼母大喊大叫也是哀悼? - 是憤怒的情緒
- 是啊 - 是啊
想想如何可以極力否定,高談闊論
你還好嗎?
- 不好 - 不好嗎?
不好,但是我會好的
我覺得我們兩個現在不該談戀愛
是的,那吻的確很好 但我...我現在一團糟
- 所以你可能說得對 - 我也一團糟
如果我給自己做心理諮商,我會說
“姐們兒,起身離開這裡 大概一年後給他發個簡訊吧”
沒錯,而我會等三天再回覆
裝得酷一點
好吧,前提是你能等三天回我簡訊
不,我一天也等不了 我會馬上回簡訊
但願如此
香檳來得正是時候,非常感謝
- 敬你媽媽 - 敬莉莉
哦,該死
聽著,我們有彼此的不在場證明
好吧,我想沒理由再拖了
我是來道歉的
我不該把你們鎖在外面的 我想和你們和解
好了,這些都是給你們的
如果還需要什麼,請告訴我
- 給我打個電話或... - 再見,瑞克
你違反了第二條規矩
什麼規矩? 我是不是漏掉了什麼?
- 別擔心 - 好的,再見
- 再見,瑞克 - 再見
這絕對不是她的全部東西
不
- 看有什麼東西 - 是啊,這對瑞克有好處
“直到我們迷失 我們才開始了解自己”
“亨利戴維梭羅 森林裡的那個傢伙”
(凱文,工作電話)
雷恩,嘿
我堅持我的決定,凱文 我要繼續寫作
- 那你的工作怎麼辦? - 我不知道,但我會想辦法的
- 好吧,祝你好運,我們會想你的 - 謝謝
- 好吧 - 好吧,再見
到了傳簡訊給我,好嗎? 還有,給我接電話
- 好的 - 好的
- 我們繞遠路吧 - 好的
- 愛你 - 謝謝
你袖子裡有什麼?
- 是他們給你的? - 沒有
沒有嗎?
- 你偷的? - 是的
我能看看嗎?
要知道,偷東西可不是個好主意
- 好的 - 那就別再這樣了
但就這一次,它是你的了
- 好的 - 就這一次
- 準備出發了嗎? - 準備好了
好的
好了,我們出發囉